i could be off blogging for the next 10 days-- i'm going to Old Orchard Beach camp meetings to do prophetic prayer and evangelism at the pier.
sweet.
there's going to be 5 generals there. hey-yo!
and there's going to be french fries and sunshine and boogie boards and ice cream and friends and pizza and waves and and sand and fried dough and stars and family. i'm stoked.
before i go, allow me to share what God's teaching me:
i'm learning to HIDE myself in Christ.
my good friend Beracah had a vision this morning, of Jesus on the floor. she was desiring to get up and prophecy and cry and preach-- but He was calling her to lay face down on the floor, where He was. she was thinking, "what about the people!?" but He was drawing her to Himself, before them.
He's recently been calling me away from trying to change the Downtown East side, and away from trying to revolutionize the Salvation Army, and away from trying to influence everyone in 614...He's calling me to His presence.
world salvation and Church awakening is still pressing heavy on my heart-- but for this season: i'm in training. He's leading me away from "the people" and to Himself.
like Moses and the burning bush (taken from one of Stephen and Danielle's teachings)-- it wasn't about Moses, it was about the people.
and it wasn't about Moses, it was about the Lord.
it's not about me-- it's about Him.
it's a temptation for me to even make ministry a selfish thing: i want to effect things, i want to change the world: but often my motivation is for my own glory, not for the Lord's glory, or the people's salvation.
thus, i'm hiding myself. i want to be invisible, i want to hide under His shadow, i want to lift HIM up, and i want do dwell in the SECRET place with Him. hidden in secrecy in His presence, not just talking about His presence in the sight of others. i want to have something so special and secret with Him, that no one else will be able to understand it. a private little world, alone with Christ.
i want to be alone with Him wherever i am, for the rest of my life. no one else.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Schmunday
a young native man, wearing a crucifix around his neck, approaches me. before he introduces himself, or asks my name, he says,
"what church do you go to?"
oh, such a difficult question to answer. Sunday morning? i sleep in. i align myself with the train of thought that we ARE the Church. our lives should be so taken over by Christ and His Body that we don't need to go to church, because we are constantly surrounded by it.
still, i recognize that to answer this boy in the negative would be a bit misleading.
"um...i don't really go to a church on a Sunday morning...but i'm involved with the Salvation Army."
"you should come to my church! (nodding and smiling and thinking-- no thanks.) you'd fall in love with it. they have real Tim Horton's coffee every week, and free cappuccinos!
and you know the band The Police? they did a concert at our church once! we've also had Evanescence and even Petra. i KNOW that if you came you'd LOVE it."
verily i appreciate the fact that this fellow was making an effort to evangelize. or was it evangelism? is inviting someone to come with you to your meeting considered preaching the good news? or is it just inviting them to come hear someone else preach the good news potentially, but perhaps a message that means nothing to them?
anyway, i do value the offer, and recognize that it takes some boldness.
his technique, however, i do question. didn't work for me.
coffee and cappuccinos-- i could get at a thousand other places in this city.
music-- i could go to a club. go to a concert. listen to the radio.
those were the things that he used to draw me-- and while i recognize the value of making Church enjoyable, all i could think about was how he wasn't offering me anything unique. he wasn't offering me something that could be found only within the Church.
now, i admit that i appropriate the same strategy. two things that i regularly use to persuade people to come to my cells are food and family. i say, "i'm cooking dinner, it's really low key, lots of great people, community, a place to share, etc." so you see, i'm not trying to criticize this man, i'm simply questioning the entire method.
firstly, it doesn't work the majority of the time(sinners vote with their feet-- they don't like church).
secondly, it's deceptive. i have an agenda. i'm only giving them coffee and company so that they'll run into Jesus.
i don't want to invite people to a church meeting (that is, if i was part of one).
i want to invite people to be reconciled with the God Whom they formerly thought was unknowable.
so, if i was going to say "yes" to some one's offer to go to church, they'd have to be inviting me to go to something that was so exciting, and so distinct that i knew i wouldn't experience it anywhere but the church.
what are some things that the church has to offer that the world can't?
-- meaning and purpose in life to the dry.
-- authentic community to the lonely.
-- freedom from addictions, fears, and sins to the frustrated.
-- healing for the sick and wounded.
-- friendship with the Divine for the seeking.
-- perhaps food, shelter, medical care, justice, water, and education to the poor.
even with all of these attractive offers, people are not coming into our churches at a very impressive rate.
maybe that's because we're not encountering these things. maybe we're only experiencing the same as what the rest of the world is experiencing.
or maybe it's because they don't know that it's happening, because no one has told them.
whatever the cause, the effect is that people are not drawn to the Church.
if the Church doesn't attract people to come to Her, then i suggest that we go out and introduce Ourself. and then introduce Him.
"what church do you go to?"
oh, such a difficult question to answer. Sunday morning? i sleep in. i align myself with the train of thought that we ARE the Church. our lives should be so taken over by Christ and His Body that we don't need to go to church, because we are constantly surrounded by it.
still, i recognize that to answer this boy in the negative would be a bit misleading.
"um...i don't really go to a church on a Sunday morning...but i'm involved with the Salvation Army."
"you should come to my church! (nodding and smiling and thinking-- no thanks.) you'd fall in love with it. they have real Tim Horton's coffee every week, and free cappuccinos!
and you know the band The Police? they did a concert at our church once! we've also had Evanescence and even Petra. i KNOW that if you came you'd LOVE it."
verily i appreciate the fact that this fellow was making an effort to evangelize. or was it evangelism? is inviting someone to come with you to your meeting considered preaching the good news? or is it just inviting them to come hear someone else preach the good news potentially, but perhaps a message that means nothing to them?
anyway, i do value the offer, and recognize that it takes some boldness.
his technique, however, i do question. didn't work for me.
coffee and cappuccinos-- i could get at a thousand other places in this city.
music-- i could go to a club. go to a concert. listen to the radio.
those were the things that he used to draw me-- and while i recognize the value of making Church enjoyable, all i could think about was how he wasn't offering me anything unique. he wasn't offering me something that could be found only within the Church.
now, i admit that i appropriate the same strategy. two things that i regularly use to persuade people to come to my cells are food and family. i say, "i'm cooking dinner, it's really low key, lots of great people, community, a place to share, etc." so you see, i'm not trying to criticize this man, i'm simply questioning the entire method.
firstly, it doesn't work the majority of the time(sinners vote with their feet-- they don't like church).
secondly, it's deceptive. i have an agenda. i'm only giving them coffee and company so that they'll run into Jesus.
i don't want to invite people to a church meeting (that is, if i was part of one).
i want to invite people to be reconciled with the God Whom they formerly thought was unknowable.
so, if i was going to say "yes" to some one's offer to go to church, they'd have to be inviting me to go to something that was so exciting, and so distinct that i knew i wouldn't experience it anywhere but the church.
what are some things that the church has to offer that the world can't?
-- meaning and purpose in life to the dry.
-- authentic community to the lonely.
-- freedom from addictions, fears, and sins to the frustrated.
-- healing for the sick and wounded.
-- friendship with the Divine for the seeking.
-- perhaps food, shelter, medical care, justice, water, and education to the poor.
even with all of these attractive offers, people are not coming into our churches at a very impressive rate.
maybe that's because we're not encountering these things. maybe we're only experiencing the same as what the rest of the world is experiencing.
or maybe it's because they don't know that it's happening, because no one has told them.
whatever the cause, the effect is that people are not drawn to the Church.
if the Church doesn't attract people to come to Her, then i suggest that we go out and introduce Ourself. and then introduce Him.
Friday, July 13, 2007
urbandictionary has no clue
My name was invented by Shakespeare, apparently. Shakespeare's Olivia, in The Twelfth Night, is a bit of a weirdo. However, I still consider it an honor to be named by one of the greats.
It comes from the word OLIVE.
I've previously taken this to mean "olive branch"-- a symbol of peace.
But here are some new thoughts about this name:
What happens to an olive when it is crushed? Oil.
Hallelujah, I'm telling you, God is crushing me.
Being crushed is a good thing.
As I was recently reminded in a prayer meeting:
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit."
(Psalm 34:18)
So what if you're not crushed?
Align yourself with those who are.
Share in their brokenness,
become broken,
and the Lord will be near you.
"Come, let us return to the LORD.
For He has torn us,
but He will heal us;
He has wounded us,
but He will bandage us.
So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD.
His going forth is as certain as the dawn,
And He will come to us like the rain,
Like the spring rain watering the earth."
(Hosea 6)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
where He leads me
"but whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. what is more, i consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. i consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. i want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3.
"relationship experts" suggest that on a first date, a couple should go on an adventure together. a paint ball fight, a roller coaster ride, whatever-- it's preferable to going to a movie, or sitting and talking.
this is because we are bound to someone when we share experiences with them, not when we simply talk about what we experience when we are apart.
i want to know Christ.
to become intimate with Him will take more then just spending time with Him, telling Him about my life, asking Him for help, and even listening to His voice.
i need to experience life with Him.
happily for me, He's asked me to come follow Him, and share in His life.
when i follow Jesus, where does it lead me?-- to the cross...and to resurrection.
i'm not pursuing suffering, i'm pursuing Jesus.
but when i pursue Him, suffering is where i inevitably end up-- because it is where He is. and this is wonderful. sharing in the sufferings of Christ is one of the most binding parts of our relationship. i love it, because it brings me closer to Christ-- beautiful Christ, the only One i want.
what did Jesus suffer?
He suffered physical torture.
i have yet to experience this-- unless fasting counts :o)
He suffered grief over His people.
"o Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"
Luke 13:39
"when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."
Luke 11:33
so part of sharing in the sufferings of Christ includes sharing in others sufferings. taking on their sorrows as our own.
any other ways that He suffered?
i want to suffer-- because i want to be with Christ where He is-- wherever He is.
Philippians 3.
"relationship experts" suggest that on a first date, a couple should go on an adventure together. a paint ball fight, a roller coaster ride, whatever-- it's preferable to going to a movie, or sitting and talking.
this is because we are bound to someone when we share experiences with them, not when we simply talk about what we experience when we are apart.
i want to know Christ.
to become intimate with Him will take more then just spending time with Him, telling Him about my life, asking Him for help, and even listening to His voice.
i need to experience life with Him.
happily for me, He's asked me to come follow Him, and share in His life.
when i follow Jesus, where does it lead me?-- to the cross...and to resurrection.
i'm not pursuing suffering, i'm pursuing Jesus.
but when i pursue Him, suffering is where i inevitably end up-- because it is where He is. and this is wonderful. sharing in the sufferings of Christ is one of the most binding parts of our relationship. i love it, because it brings me closer to Christ-- beautiful Christ, the only One i want.
what did Jesus suffer?
He suffered physical torture.
i have yet to experience this-- unless fasting counts :o)
He suffered grief over His people.
"o Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"
Luke 13:39
"when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."
Luke 11:33
so part of sharing in the sufferings of Christ includes sharing in others sufferings. taking on their sorrows as our own.
any other ways that He suffered?
i want to suffer-- because i want to be with Christ where He is-- wherever He is.
Monday, July 02, 2007
humility bulletin
Jesus was the perfect picture of humility.
He is the King of the Universe, as high and as powerful and One could be.
and yet He lowered Himself to be as low and broken as One could be.
i am just a girl, made of dust, and my life is going to be over in the blink of an eye.
and yet i find it hard to lower myself in the least.
He is so beautiful. and i want to look like Him so badly.
___________________________________________________________________
do you believe in soul mates? do you think that God has one person picked out for each of us, or does He give us options?
___________________________________________________________________
Numbers is a KICKIN book. oh man, i've been stunned by it.
Moses was the most humble man in all of the earth. wow.
and he spoke with the Lord face to face, unlike other prophets who saw in visions and dreams. i wonder if it's a coincidence that he was amazingly humble, and that he had real fellowship with God.
Numbers also includes many examples of intercession.
--in chapter 11 the Lord sends His fire and burns the Israelites on the outskirts of the camp, because they were complaining. the people cry out to Moses, and Moses cries out to the Lord, and He stopped.
--in chapter 12 Miriam gets leprosy because she and Aaron were talking against Moses. Aaron begs Moses to not hold their sins against them, Moses cries out to the Lord to heal her, and He did (though she was confined for 7 days)
--in chapter 14 the Lord is planning on wiping out all of the Israelites, besides Moses, but Moses prays and the Lord holds back His anger and instead punishes them by holding them in the desert for 40 years till that generation dies out.
--in chapter 16, Korah and his friends rebel, and are swallowed up by the earth! if Moses hadn't fallen face down and begged God to spare the community, it would have been the whole community, not just Korah's family.
--and, best of all-- the Lord sends a plague on all of the Israelites. He wipes out 14,700 of them, and only stops there because Aaron runs with a censor and stands between the living and the dead to make an atonement for the community.
WOW. their humble cries were HEARD by God, and affected so much.
___________________________________________________________________
i was shattered on Thursday.
i think it's because of all of my reflections on humility. i've been asking God to humble me, and He is. eek.
it was also a public humbling. great. He's stripping away my foundation and showing the world my blemishes. i am needy, i am absolutely broken.
i think brokenness is simply recognizing the fact that we ARE broken.
i want to be like Jesus, and i want to be like Moses-- humble.
He is the King of the Universe, as high and as powerful and One could be.
and yet He lowered Himself to be as low and broken as One could be.
i am just a girl, made of dust, and my life is going to be over in the blink of an eye.
and yet i find it hard to lower myself in the least.
He is so beautiful. and i want to look like Him so badly.
___________________________________________________________________
do you believe in soul mates? do you think that God has one person picked out for each of us, or does He give us options?
___________________________________________________________________
Numbers is a KICKIN book. oh man, i've been stunned by it.
Moses was the most humble man in all of the earth. wow.
and he spoke with the Lord face to face, unlike other prophets who saw in visions and dreams. i wonder if it's a coincidence that he was amazingly humble, and that he had real fellowship with God.
Numbers also includes many examples of intercession.
--in chapter 11 the Lord sends His fire and burns the Israelites on the outskirts of the camp, because they were complaining. the people cry out to Moses, and Moses cries out to the Lord, and He stopped.
--in chapter 12 Miriam gets leprosy because she and Aaron were talking against Moses. Aaron begs Moses to not hold their sins against them, Moses cries out to the Lord to heal her, and He did (though she was confined for 7 days)
--in chapter 14 the Lord is planning on wiping out all of the Israelites, besides Moses, but Moses prays and the Lord holds back His anger and instead punishes them by holding them in the desert for 40 years till that generation dies out.
--in chapter 16, Korah and his friends rebel, and are swallowed up by the earth! if Moses hadn't fallen face down and begged God to spare the community, it would have been the whole community, not just Korah's family.
--and, best of all-- the Lord sends a plague on all of the Israelites. He wipes out 14,700 of them, and only stops there because Aaron runs with a censor and stands between the living and the dead to make an atonement for the community.
WOW. their humble cries were HEARD by God, and affected so much.
___________________________________________________________________
i was shattered on Thursday.
i think it's because of all of my reflections on humility. i've been asking God to humble me, and He is. eek.
it was also a public humbling. great. He's stripping away my foundation and showing the world my blemishes. i am needy, i am absolutely broken.
i think brokenness is simply recognizing the fact that we ARE broken.
i want to be like Jesus, and i want to be like Moses-- humble.
Friday, June 22, 2007
the spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.
good news!
the government just purchased the "Drake" hotel and strip club from the Hell's Angels.
this racy joint is on Princess and Powell-- smack dab in the middle of where all the girls are being prostituted.
we NiteLite girls, for the past two years, have been walking around that neighborhood a few hours every week. and every time we walk past the Drake, we pray that it will shut down. a few girl have gone INTO the club to order pops and pray, and were basically traumatized by all that they saw.
not ONLY is the strip club shut down, the entire building is being turned into affordable housing for the homeless! justice and mercy. hallelujah.
that's an example of winning plunder from the enemy after a victory.
of course, there is a concern in my head that the Hell's Angels now have $3.2 million on hand. maybe they'll donate it to the Salvation Army.
next target: the No. 5 Orange. this is another strip club owned by the Hell's Angels, just 4 blocks away from the Drake-- my next door neighbors. we've been praying that this place would shut down for just as long.
on our same block there is a Christian ministry called "Jacob's Well." they do dinners, Bible Studies, all kinds of things. they prophesied that the whole block would be owned by believers. when we moved in they were overjoyed, and it pumped up their faith a bit. they also prophesied that the No. 5 Orange would be a church. we've had similar pictures, during prayer, of the light bursting forth from the inside.
please pray for the women in my neighborhood.
speaking of all that good news:
how do we spread the good news?
what IS evangelism?
most of my life, i was taught that evangelism is this: you make friends with nonbelievers, and after a few years of hanging out with them, they'll ask you why you're so happy all the time.
okay, so i'm sure this works sometimes, but it certainly doesn't seem very proactive.
first of all, it's difficult to make friends with nonbelievers for the sole purpose of getting them saved, because you have an agenda. you hang out with them, but your motive is more than friendship, and they can tell.
secondly, this "sit back and be Christian" method of evangelism takes WAY too long! people die all the time, Jesus is returning soon, we've got no time to waste. if we all went out and made friend with a bunch of sinners today, most of them wouldn't be saved for years to come.
so i say, if you're already friends with nonbelievers, try and get them saved. relationship evangelism is not invalid.
HOWEVER-- since there is no fellowship with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), and since Jesus is returning soon, perhaps we should focus our evangelism energy elsewhere.
do we undervalue cold-call evangelism?
what about asking someone if they want to be saved when you first meet them? or what about preaching on the streets?
evangelism is something that i have been struggling through for a couple years, and i've still only seen minimal fruit. what's it going to take?
the power of the Holy Spirit.
the government just purchased the "Drake" hotel and strip club from the Hell's Angels.
this racy joint is on Princess and Powell-- smack dab in the middle of where all the girls are being prostituted.
we NiteLite girls, for the past two years, have been walking around that neighborhood a few hours every week. and every time we walk past the Drake, we pray that it will shut down. a few girl have gone INTO the club to order pops and pray, and were basically traumatized by all that they saw.
not ONLY is the strip club shut down, the entire building is being turned into affordable housing for the homeless! justice and mercy. hallelujah.
that's an example of winning plunder from the enemy after a victory.
of course, there is a concern in my head that the Hell's Angels now have $3.2 million on hand. maybe they'll donate it to the Salvation Army.
next target: the No. 5 Orange. this is another strip club owned by the Hell's Angels, just 4 blocks away from the Drake-- my next door neighbors. we've been praying that this place would shut down for just as long.
on our same block there is a Christian ministry called "Jacob's Well." they do dinners, Bible Studies, all kinds of things. they prophesied that the whole block would be owned by believers. when we moved in they were overjoyed, and it pumped up their faith a bit. they also prophesied that the No. 5 Orange would be a church. we've had similar pictures, during prayer, of the light bursting forth from the inside.
please pray for the women in my neighborhood.
speaking of all that good news:
how do we spread the good news?
what IS evangelism?
most of my life, i was taught that evangelism is this: you make friends with nonbelievers, and after a few years of hanging out with them, they'll ask you why you're so happy all the time.
okay, so i'm sure this works sometimes, but it certainly doesn't seem very proactive.
first of all, it's difficult to make friends with nonbelievers for the sole purpose of getting them saved, because you have an agenda. you hang out with them, but your motive is more than friendship, and they can tell.
secondly, this "sit back and be Christian" method of evangelism takes WAY too long! people die all the time, Jesus is returning soon, we've got no time to waste. if we all went out and made friend with a bunch of sinners today, most of them wouldn't be saved for years to come.
so i say, if you're already friends with nonbelievers, try and get them saved. relationship evangelism is not invalid.
HOWEVER-- since there is no fellowship with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), and since Jesus is returning soon, perhaps we should focus our evangelism energy elsewhere.
do we undervalue cold-call evangelism?
what about asking someone if they want to be saved when you first meet them? or what about preaching on the streets?
evangelism is something that i have been struggling through for a couple years, and i've still only seen minimal fruit. what's it going to take?
the power of the Holy Spirit.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
promoted.
sad news from the Downtown East side:
there's an elderly native man who lives at Pigeon Park-- the sketchy corner where 614 does its open air meetings. his name is Rusty. he's got long stick straight hair, and he's constantly hunched over. he lives on one bench on the left side of the water fountain, and i've almost never seen him anywhere else.
last year, during a Holy session open air meeting, Rusty got saved. he sat, leaned up against the djembwe drum for the whole meeting, and at the end he requested Amazing Grace. he got up and started dancing, waving his arms around and weeping.
he never made it to our cell groups, and he never got a home off the streets. but Rusty was a believer, and there is no doubting that-- his church was our open air meeting. every week he joined us, and sang along, and requested Amazing Grace. he was full of love-- he gave out hugs liberally, he listened to our gospel shots, and his face was always lit up by the light of Christ.
Rusty was murdered last week, for no fault of his own. sometimes, down here, when someone is stabbed to death, everyone assumes it's because they didn't pay their drug dealer, or they stole some dope. but as for Rusty, everyone knows that's not the case. he was beaten, and his head was smashed into the pavement, by some angry man he didn't know.
obviously, i don't know the specifics of what was going through the enraged man's head, but whatever it was, he clearly did not think that Rusty's life was valuable enough to protect. Rusty was homeless, crippled, poor, previously a drunkard. i believe that somewhere in society's subconscious, we equate those things to equal worthless.
but it's not true. Rusty was a gem. a beautiful man, radiantly in love with His Saviour. he looked like Jesus-- he was humble, gentle, caring, zealous. he was the reason Christ came into the world.
i've been mourning about this deeply. but then, the Lord has used the tragedy to reveal to me something quite valuable: we're down here for a reason. i often feel like we fight hard, and press in, and sow and sow and sow...and we see so little fruit. but Rusty is some of our fruit. some of our fruit that remained to the very end. the Body of Christ has saved a man. we should be encouraged, and exhorted-- our fight is important.
and i know that now Rusty is more radiant then ever-- experiencing a healthy body, living in a mansion, and thriving in constant face to face encounters with the King.
hallelujah. promoted from Pigeon Park to Paradise.
there's an elderly native man who lives at Pigeon Park-- the sketchy corner where 614 does its open air meetings. his name is Rusty. he's got long stick straight hair, and he's constantly hunched over. he lives on one bench on the left side of the water fountain, and i've almost never seen him anywhere else.
last year, during a Holy session open air meeting, Rusty got saved. he sat, leaned up against the djembwe drum for the whole meeting, and at the end he requested Amazing Grace. he got up and started dancing, waving his arms around and weeping.
he never made it to our cell groups, and he never got a home off the streets. but Rusty was a believer, and there is no doubting that-- his church was our open air meeting. every week he joined us, and sang along, and requested Amazing Grace. he was full of love-- he gave out hugs liberally, he listened to our gospel shots, and his face was always lit up by the light of Christ.
Rusty was murdered last week, for no fault of his own. sometimes, down here, when someone is stabbed to death, everyone assumes it's because they didn't pay their drug dealer, or they stole some dope. but as for Rusty, everyone knows that's not the case. he was beaten, and his head was smashed into the pavement, by some angry man he didn't know.
obviously, i don't know the specifics of what was going through the enraged man's head, but whatever it was, he clearly did not think that Rusty's life was valuable enough to protect. Rusty was homeless, crippled, poor, previously a drunkard. i believe that somewhere in society's subconscious, we equate those things to equal worthless.
but it's not true. Rusty was a gem. a beautiful man, radiantly in love with His Saviour. he looked like Jesus-- he was humble, gentle, caring, zealous. he was the reason Christ came into the world.
i've been mourning about this deeply. but then, the Lord has used the tragedy to reveal to me something quite valuable: we're down here for a reason. i often feel like we fight hard, and press in, and sow and sow and sow...and we see so little fruit. but Rusty is some of our fruit. some of our fruit that remained to the very end. the Body of Christ has saved a man. we should be encouraged, and exhorted-- our fight is important.
and i know that now Rusty is more radiant then ever-- experiencing a healthy body, living in a mansion, and thriving in constant face to face encounters with the King.
hallelujah. promoted from Pigeon Park to Paradise.
Friday, June 15, 2007
always full, always hungry
i have returned, safe and sound and full of love, from my journey.
3 weeks: London (Ontario), Toronto, New York, Hershey (Pennsylvania). people keep asking me, "how was your trip?" well the answer is: it was so many things. highs, lows, joys, sorrows, you know. blessed times, overall, i could blog on all that happened, but it would take too much time. sorry.
so, instead, i'll blog on my thoughts these days. two things:
1.) i am so THIRSTY for more of Jesus. yet, i know Him more deeply than ever. my experience is that the deeper i go with Christ, the deeper i need to go. back when i was stuck in sin, rebelling against God, and never talking or listening to Him, i didn't feel a compelling desire to know Him. i was empty, but i didn't hunger as intensely as i do now.
now that i commune with Him constantly, now that i hear His voice, now that nothing is blocking our relationship, i feel SO hungry for more! the more i drink of the Spirit, the thirstier i get; the more i eat of the Bread of Life, the hungrier i get. and i LOVE IT! my hunger for Him is His gift to me.
2.) i often hear of weary believers who "burn out" because they minister so much. missionaries, officers, war college students, you name it.
but i have to say: i don't think we ever have to come to a place of burnout. this is from experience, and Scripture (and reason of course, that's what i've already outlined) (and tradition!-- think of the saints before us who were persecuted, who continued to fight everyday until they were promoted to glory. their life was not an easy one, but even THEY never burnt out).
experience:
when i am operating in my gifts, among the poor and the lost, i feel absolutely ENERGIZED. i love it! it doesn't drain me, it pumps me up. i am co-operating with Jesus, following Him wherever He goes, and every moment of it is communing with Him. i feel drained when i have to deal with believers who are apathetic, but i don't feel drained when i am fighting.
of course: i understand physical fatigue. oh, do i ever understand it. i recognize that is completely valid, and we need to rest.
i also recognize that we can't be loving people if we are not abiding in Christ. we can't give out oil and wine that we don't have. if we are not continually and constantly drawing from our Wellspring of life, the Source, then we'll be dry, and literally have nothing left to give.
Scripture:
"They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion."
(Psalm 84:7)
"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
(Isaiah 40:28-31)
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
(Hebrews 12:1-3)
"Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."
(John 5:17)
so there you have it.
fight on.
3 weeks: London (Ontario), Toronto, New York, Hershey (Pennsylvania). people keep asking me, "how was your trip?" well the answer is: it was so many things. highs, lows, joys, sorrows, you know. blessed times, overall, i could blog on all that happened, but it would take too much time. sorry.
so, instead, i'll blog on my thoughts these days. two things:
1.) i am so THIRSTY for more of Jesus. yet, i know Him more deeply than ever. my experience is that the deeper i go with Christ, the deeper i need to go. back when i was stuck in sin, rebelling against God, and never talking or listening to Him, i didn't feel a compelling desire to know Him. i was empty, but i didn't hunger as intensely as i do now.
now that i commune with Him constantly, now that i hear His voice, now that nothing is blocking our relationship, i feel SO hungry for more! the more i drink of the Spirit, the thirstier i get; the more i eat of the Bread of Life, the hungrier i get. and i LOVE IT! my hunger for Him is His gift to me.
2.) i often hear of weary believers who "burn out" because they minister so much. missionaries, officers, war college students, you name it.
but i have to say: i don't think we ever have to come to a place of burnout. this is from experience, and Scripture (and reason of course, that's what i've already outlined) (and tradition!-- think of the saints before us who were persecuted, who continued to fight everyday until they were promoted to glory. their life was not an easy one, but even THEY never burnt out).
experience:
when i am operating in my gifts, among the poor and the lost, i feel absolutely ENERGIZED. i love it! it doesn't drain me, it pumps me up. i am co-operating with Jesus, following Him wherever He goes, and every moment of it is communing with Him. i feel drained when i have to deal with believers who are apathetic, but i don't feel drained when i am fighting.
of course: i understand physical fatigue. oh, do i ever understand it. i recognize that is completely valid, and we need to rest.
i also recognize that we can't be loving people if we are not abiding in Christ. we can't give out oil and wine that we don't have. if we are not continually and constantly drawing from our Wellspring of life, the Source, then we'll be dry, and literally have nothing left to give.
Scripture:
"They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion."
(Psalm 84:7)
"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
(Isaiah 40:28-31)
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
(Hebrews 12:1-3)
"Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."
(John 5:17)
so there you have it.
fight on.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
holiness heathen
i had a chat about holiness theology with an unbelieving man i work with.
it should be mentioned: he believes in "the divine," and he is sure that there is a supernatural, spiritual realm. he's just not a Christ follower. he's also a very smart man, and he knows a lot about philosophy and psychology.
it began because i was talking about my class (Extreme Holiness) in The War College. i was sharing how many of the students don't agree with my thoughts, and how it's a fairly controversial subject.
he asked me what was so disputatious about the whole thing.
i was reticent to explain it to him, because i figured that theological argot would not be beneficial to a nonbeliever. so i began to define the controversy, and we ended up talking about nothing but holiness for the next 2 hours. (i'm getting paid for this! haha!)
shocking:
he agrees with my theology more than most Christians i have spoken to!
i narrowed it down to two polemics:
1.) it is possible to live a holy life, not just be forgiven and continue to sin.
2.) it is possible to receive holiness in a single moment, and grow from there-- it's not a point that we need to strive for our whole lives, and never reach.
i am stunned that he agreed with me.
i am especially stunned because most believers i meet do not agree.
point #1
he told me that his big objection to Christianity is the fact that so many Christians accept forgiveness and continue to sin.
ME TOO! it seems that our belief in grace affects us so that we think we'll always sin, and that's why we have Jesus. sounds like cheap grace to me. both my co-worker and i think that there HAS to be a change of heart and action, or else the mercy of God is thrown away.
point #2
he's seen it quite a few massive transformations in his friends lives, because he is involved with NA. he says that it almost always happens overnight. surely, people grow and change gradually, but when God does a miracle in a person, it can happen in a single moment. he said that to say it would take our whole lives to "reach Christlikeness" would be to limit God.
I AGREE! our journey of holiness is not an asymptote. forgive the math-headed-ness. but listen to this:
an asymptote is a curved line approaching a straight line (in this example, the y-axis and the x-axis) and getting closer and closer to intersecting, but never touching. for infinity the fraction of space between the curved line and the straight line will get smaller and smaller, but but it will never disappear.
this seems to be the prevailing thought in the Church about holiness. we think that for our whole lives we will become more and more like Christ, but we'll never be Christlike. that's the problem with thinking of holiness as a point to be reached-- we think we'll never reach it, or we get caught up in legalism and striving by trying to touch that line.
both my co-worker and i think that this "blessing of a clean heart" must be viewed as a gift and a journey, but not a destination. make sense?
the discussion turned toward faith and salvation. hallelujah. keep praying for this guy, if you think of it. actually, pray for both of my co-workers-- each of them are close to repenting. the other guy i work with prayed with me the other day. he prayed, "God, if You're real, show Yourself to me." i'm believing that He will.
anyway-- i'm feelin a bit sad that a nonbeliever agrees with my theology more than the Church does. he's putting us to shame!
it should be mentioned: he believes in "the divine," and he is sure that there is a supernatural, spiritual realm. he's just not a Christ follower. he's also a very smart man, and he knows a lot about philosophy and psychology.
it began because i was talking about my class (Extreme Holiness) in The War College. i was sharing how many of the students don't agree with my thoughts, and how it's a fairly controversial subject.
he asked me what was so disputatious about the whole thing.
i was reticent to explain it to him, because i figured that theological argot would not be beneficial to a nonbeliever. so i began to define the controversy, and we ended up talking about nothing but holiness for the next 2 hours. (i'm getting paid for this! haha!)
shocking:
he agrees with my theology more than most Christians i have spoken to!
i narrowed it down to two polemics:
1.) it is possible to live a holy life, not just be forgiven and continue to sin.
2.) it is possible to receive holiness in a single moment, and grow from there-- it's not a point that we need to strive for our whole lives, and never reach.
i am stunned that he agreed with me.
i am especially stunned because most believers i meet do not agree.
point #1
he told me that his big objection to Christianity is the fact that so many Christians accept forgiveness and continue to sin.
ME TOO! it seems that our belief in grace affects us so that we think we'll always sin, and that's why we have Jesus. sounds like cheap grace to me. both my co-worker and i think that there HAS to be a change of heart and action, or else the mercy of God is thrown away.
point #2
he's seen it quite a few massive transformations in his friends lives, because he is involved with NA. he says that it almost always happens overnight. surely, people grow and change gradually, but when God does a miracle in a person, it can happen in a single moment. he said that to say it would take our whole lives to "reach Christlikeness" would be to limit God.
I AGREE! our journey of holiness is not an asymptote. forgive the math-headed-ness. but listen to this:
an asymptote is a curved line approaching a straight line (in this example, the y-axis and the x-axis) and getting closer and closer to intersecting, but never touching. for infinity the fraction of space between the curved line and the straight line will get smaller and smaller, but but it will never disappear.
this seems to be the prevailing thought in the Church about holiness. we think that for our whole lives we will become more and more like Christ, but we'll never be Christlike. that's the problem with thinking of holiness as a point to be reached-- we think we'll never reach it, or we get caught up in legalism and striving by trying to touch that line.
both my co-worker and i think that this "blessing of a clean heart" must be viewed as a gift and a journey, but not a destination. make sense?
the discussion turned toward faith and salvation. hallelujah. keep praying for this guy, if you think of it. actually, pray for both of my co-workers-- each of them are close to repenting. the other guy i work with prayed with me the other day. he prayed, "God, if You're real, show Yourself to me." i'm believing that He will.
anyway-- i'm feelin a bit sad that a nonbeliever agrees with my theology more than the Church does. he's putting us to shame!
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