i'm finally beginning to understand the distinction between blameless and faultless.
because of the blood of Jesus which took away my sin, i am now blameless. hallelujah.
but i'm not faultless. cuz i'm human.
i tend to resent the phrase "no one is perfect," because it seems anti-holiness to me. it always sounded to me like people were making excuses for their sin.
but today i have learned that, while my sinful nature is crucified, my human nature is still alive and kickin. good thing...otherwise, well, i'd be dead. i learned today that i'm still very faulty. i still make mistakes-- even if not direct sin and rebellion. i learned today that no one is perfect. sigh...
here's how i messed up:
1) fell asleep for a few minutes while praying.
2) typed an incorrect number in the ATM which makes my balance look bigger than it is.
3) hurt a guys feelings when i turned down his offer of going out to dinner-- i probably was too abrupt.
4) i booked a guy out of the Haven shelter, and gave his bed away, after having told him that he was set for the next 10 days. now he has no place to sleep, even though he should have one.
i've certainly made a few mistakes.
but after the last aberration (the worst of all-- because it cost someone else), i got really down on myself, and began to question, if perhaps i've not been made holy after all.
praise the Lord-- He's teaching me about grace. upon reflection of my mistakes, i realized that none of them fall under Wesley's definition of "sin properly-so-called"-- a voluntary transgression of a known law of God. so, i can't get under condemnation for these errors-- they weren't intentional, and they weren't my heart. i just made some mistakes. and that's okay. no one's perfect :o)
i'm so glad that He is gracious to me.
guess what!!
tomorrow morning i'm hopping on a aeroplane and getting out of here. oh man, a break will be lovely.
i'm going to Urbana Missions Fest (over 25,000 people!) and helping to man a Salvation Army booth,
then i'm going to New York to see my parents (wahoo!)
and then i'm going to Puerto Rico...to lay on the beach. yesss.....
since i don't necessarily practice a weekly sabbath, every six months or so, two weeks off is good enough.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
people get ready
a regular day for me this week has been, and will be--
5am-8am War Room Shift
10am-2pm Kettle Shift
4pm-12pm Work
and then it all begins again.
so i've not had much quality time with my pillow.
but i've had some CRAZY good War Room shifts! oh man! i have no theology to back this up, but in my experience, the harder the hours, and the more costly it is to get up and pray, the bigger the blessing.
today was as intense as ever.
He gave me a deep sense of urgency. check this song out:
http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/worshipmusic/fm038-06.mp3
if you can't listen to it, then here are some of the words:
"time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
'what a fool,' they say,
'to build a boat on the sand,
what a fool,' they say.
' it's never rained before!'
but time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
people get ready
Jesus is coming
'what a fool,' they say,
'to fast and pray,
it's been two thousand years,
let's get real,
do you really think He's coming?
what a fool,' they say,
'it's never rained before...'
'...rain, rain go away,
hide me from the wrath of the Lamb!'
and when the rain starts coming
it's too late."
dude.
i've got no words besides--
JESUS IS COMING.
and all that those words mean.
5am-8am War Room Shift
10am-2pm Kettle Shift
4pm-12pm Work
and then it all begins again.
so i've not had much quality time with my pillow.
but i've had some CRAZY good War Room shifts! oh man! i have no theology to back this up, but in my experience, the harder the hours, and the more costly it is to get up and pray, the bigger the blessing.
today was as intense as ever.
He gave me a deep sense of urgency. check this song out:
http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/worshipmusic/fm038-06.mp3
if you can't listen to it, then here are some of the words:
"time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
'what a fool,' they say,
'to build a boat on the sand,
what a fool,' they say.
' it's never rained before!'
but time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
people get ready
Jesus is coming
'what a fool,' they say,
'to fast and pray,
it's been two thousand years,
let's get real,
do you really think He's coming?
what a fool,' they say,
'it's never rained before...'
'...rain, rain go away,
hide me from the wrath of the Lamb!'
and when the rain starts coming
it's too late."
dude.
i've got no words besides--
JESUS IS COMING.
and all that those words mean.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Listen to this
Romans 6
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 7
1Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
4So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. 5For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. "
i used to get confused about Romans 7, book-ended by Romans 6 and 8. it seemed contradictory.
now it seems to make sense-- Paul is talking about life before he was made holy. he goes on about how he is a slave to his sinful nature, and how he can't even do what is right if he wants to. but the context of chapter 6 baffled me, because chapter 6 is all about freedom from the sinful nature. i wondered if chapter 7 negated all of chapter 6.
but now i read chapter 8--
and i see that it is not all about "no condemnation" for sinners. it's about holiness.
it's about how we used to be slaves to sin, but now we have been set free, and thus have no condemnation. Paul gets it. he gets that we are completely unable to resist sin, unless we are in Jesus Christ, and crucify our sinful natures with Him.
i'm convinced. and i testify-- i could not resist sin either! but that was back when i was still in slavery to my fully functioning sinful nature.
Hallelujah-- no more! i am a slave of God, and of righteousness, and my mind is controlled by the Holy Spirit. wow, He is good. He did not allow me to remain in bondage that was leading me to eternal death-- He set me free! oh, how i love Him.
i urge you-- be freed from slavery to sin. it kills.
allow Him to set you free. be crucified with Him. it's impossible to evade the sin that pulls you into death, while still stuck in slavery.
Hallelujah.
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 7
1Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
4So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. 5For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. "
i used to get confused about Romans 7, book-ended by Romans 6 and 8. it seemed contradictory.
now it seems to make sense-- Paul is talking about life before he was made holy. he goes on about how he is a slave to his sinful nature, and how he can't even do what is right if he wants to. but the context of chapter 6 baffled me, because chapter 6 is all about freedom from the sinful nature. i wondered if chapter 7 negated all of chapter 6.
but now i read chapter 8--
and i see that it is not all about "no condemnation" for sinners. it's about holiness.
it's about how we used to be slaves to sin, but now we have been set free, and thus have no condemnation. Paul gets it. he gets that we are completely unable to resist sin, unless we are in Jesus Christ, and crucify our sinful natures with Him.
i'm convinced. and i testify-- i could not resist sin either! but that was back when i was still in slavery to my fully functioning sinful nature.
Hallelujah-- no more! i am a slave of God, and of righteousness, and my mind is controlled by the Holy Spirit. wow, He is good. He did not allow me to remain in bondage that was leading me to eternal death-- He set me free! oh, how i love Him.
i urge you-- be freed from slavery to sin. it kills.
allow Him to set you free. be crucified with Him. it's impossible to evade the sin that pulls you into death, while still stuck in slavery.
Hallelujah.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
snapshots.
my beloved brother
women's march in the downtown east side
the girls and i
Westbrook Bible Bowl circa 2004
Lagos, Nigeria
OOB dancing ladies
mums and pops :o)
awww.....
alley behind re:cre8
me and the bizzoys (we're so young!)
bus in Vancouver
the girls and i
Westbrook Bible Bowl circa 2004
Lagos, Nigeria
OOB dancing ladies
mums and pops :o)
awww.....
alley behind re:cre8
me and the bizzoys (we're so young!)
bus in Vancouver
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
x-woman
sometimes i feel like Rogue from x-men.
whatever Rogue touches dies. she has to keep her skin covered at all times, because if she accidentally touches someone with her bare skin, they'll shrivel up and their veins will pop out, and they'll begin to suffocate.
i feel like her because i seem to be ruining everything i touch.
literally:
i may have single handedly ruined an iPod and a computer at the same time. Kirsten's iPod (a few months ago she deleted all of her photos from her camera...today i deleted all of her songs from her iPod), and Stephen Courts computer. big...deal! huge deal! oh man. that computer probably has years of work on it, and priceless documents.
and figuratively:
i've had two "bosses" mad at me recently for various mistakes that i've made, or duties that i've neglected doing.
bah. the Lord is so gracious to me...hallelujah i need it.
whatever Rogue touches dies. she has to keep her skin covered at all times, because if she accidentally touches someone with her bare skin, they'll shrivel up and their veins will pop out, and they'll begin to suffocate.
i feel like her because i seem to be ruining everything i touch.
literally:
i may have single handedly ruined an iPod and a computer at the same time. Kirsten's iPod (a few months ago she deleted all of her photos from her camera...today i deleted all of her songs from her iPod), and Stephen Courts computer. big...deal! huge deal! oh man. that computer probably has years of work on it, and priceless documents.
and figuratively:
i've had two "bosses" mad at me recently for various mistakes that i've made, or duties that i've neglected doing.
bah. the Lord is so gracious to me...hallelujah i need it.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
I renounce and hate materialism in my life
Just to be able to eat more than once a day is more than enough, and a blessing.
Matt 6: 31
I renounce and hate the opinion that to just work in a worldly un-mission focused environment and just sponsor a child is enough
People are dying everywhere and I am privileged enough to have a voice to protest and money to fund this.
Matt 25:25
I renounce and hate self indulgent entertainment that in my privileged position I have been able to have.
Entertainment is not a right, or an option to waste money and time on. When thousands are crying for help I can not and must not be found using the money thatcould save these peoples life's on a pointless trip to a theme park or buying the latest movie.
Matt 25:45-46
I am at war, we are at war! I believe that if I don't pull rank and start fighting I am guilty of a great sin seeing a problem, being able to fix it and not doing anything. this opinion is not open for dispute with anything less than the word of God itself.
Romans 2:5b-14
-- taken from peter footers blog
i might add
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
(1 John 3:17)
and
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.
(Proverbs 21:13)
Just to be able to eat more than once a day is more than enough, and a blessing.
Matt 6: 31
I renounce and hate the opinion that to just work in a worldly un-mission focused environment and just sponsor a child is enough
People are dying everywhere and I am privileged enough to have a voice to protest and money to fund this.
Matt 25:25
I renounce and hate self indulgent entertainment that in my privileged position I have been able to have.
Entertainment is not a right, or an option to waste money and time on. When thousands are crying for help I can not and must not be found using the money thatcould save these peoples life's on a pointless trip to a theme park or buying the latest movie.
Matt 25:45-46
I am at war, we are at war! I believe that if I don't pull rank and start fighting I am guilty of a great sin seeing a problem, being able to fix it and not doing anything. this opinion is not open for dispute with anything less than the word of God itself.
Romans 2:5b-14
-- taken from peter footers blog
i might add
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
(1 John 3:17)
and
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.
(Proverbs 21:13)
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