for those of you interested in my life-- i have just been diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia. but thanks to fabulous Canadian socialized health care, i got free antibiotics so i should be up and running shortly.
for those of you interested in my thoughts-- faith. it's all i can think about these days. i've had a few revelations:
firstly, we are saved by grace through faith. now, as one who preaches works more than grace, i regularly have to remind myself of this. we are not saved by our deeds, we are only saved by the grace of God. through our faith. but here's the kicker-- faith without works is dead.
if we truly have faith in the resurrection of Christ, if we truly have faith in the reality of an Almighty God, if we truly have faith in the judgement that is to come-- then our entire lives will be taken over by these beliefs.
it is impossible to believe in hell and not preach the gospel. it is impossible to believe that Jesus is Lord and not follow His commands. our beliefs determine our actions-- and if they don't, they aren't genuine beliefs. we are saved by grace through real faith.
now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). it is choosing to believe in what we cannot see. a wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign (Matthew 12:39, Matthew 16:3-5, Luke 11:29). i regularly hear of people asking for a sign from God before they believe-- "God, if You're out there, show Yourself to me." i often find that people don't do anything until they have some supernatural encounter that spurs them into faith-filled living. that's believing WITH seeing, but it's not faith.
faith is praying for a miracle even when you see no results. faith is believing in a Messiah Whom we have not met face to Face. faith is choosing to cling to Him, even in the dry seasons when He seems invisible, even if we're going to be killed for believing in Him.
faith is crazy. it's absolutely ridiculous to throw your life into this great movement without having proof that it's worth it. but i KNOW it is.
and lastly, faith is continuous. i am more certain then ever that it is possible to lose salvation, because of this-- faith only counts if we hold onto it until the end. it's possible to stray away from faith, to slowly let doubt creep in until you only believe what is clearly before you. i believe that continuance in a state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ. it's continued, and it's obedient. there's no other kind of faith.
pray for me, please. i have been attacked with doubt a few times in the past 2 years, but the more i learn about faith, the more set in it i become. i will NEVER leave Him, even if i cannot prove Him.
please also pray for my health. i've taken some time off of work, because the majority of guys in my shelter have HIV, and if they catch pneumonia, they could die. but i hate not being able to be out, so i'm believing for quick healing! hallelujah. thank you Lord for antibiotics.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
ghetto FABULOUS
ahh...it's good to be back in Vancouver, and it's good to be back in blogosphere.
it's been quite a week in Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
we prayed, preached, prophesied, partied...it was my "best life ever."
re-entry, as usual, was jarring.
though i have lived in the Downtown East side for 2 years now (wow!) i still feel shocked every time i return to it.
i slept all day on planes, on buses and in airports, due to the all-nighter i pulled my last night in Maine (bad idea-- mom, dad, i will listen to your advice forever!)
as a result, i arrived in the DTES feeling like a drug-addict who needed some up (and probably looking like one too). how very incarnational of me.
as we pulled up to my apartment the first thing we notice is a firetruck parked right outside my door! the next thing we notice is an ambulance appearing and multiple paramedics rushing into my door, up the stairs.
we follow them up the stairs, lugging our under 50 lbs. suitcases behind us.
it turns out that one of my house-mates was having a bad reaction to some Tylenol-3s he had taken previously. nothing serious, but still quite a jolting, dramatic entrance back into our household. welcome home.
then i sat on a couch and chatted with my family here about my time in Maine. after sitting for a few minutes i realized that i was scratching my ankles furiously. these were no left-over mosquito bites from Maine. nor was this the irritating sensation of peeling, sunburned skin. no-- these were something else i'm equally familiar with-- bedbug bites. i'm back for less than one hour and i've already met 10 paramedics and been assaulted by a pestilence. welcome home.
i indulged myself with a (much needed) bath...in the dark because our bathroom light isn't working. i went to bed early and awoke early (i love jet lag) only to lay in bed and listen to the hullabaloo in the alley beneath my window. it's good to be back.
as i walked down the street yesterday i felt like it was dirtier then ever before. i figured that it was just the culture shock of leaving and returning-- but then someone informed me that the garbage workers have all gone on strike for the past 4 weeks. this means that dumpsters are overflowing, alleys are teeming, and the sidewalks are beginning to remind me of Nigeria. piles and piles of garbage everywhere and anywhere. this has also resulted in a new discovery of a RAT in our house. i've come to terms with cockroaches and mice, but rats!? oh man, we'd better get rid of that union... ;o)
it's a lovely reality to return home to.
i have never been anywhere quite like the DTES. it's horrible, and i have many reasons why i should hate it here-- but it seems to have this strange sucking power. i suppose that's the call of God on my life. if you could separate my life from the Divine, then my love for this neighborhood is inexplicable. He's given me a love for the DTES that is real-- it's not a "i SHOULD love the poor, so i'll be good to them." it's a genuine love that even overflows into smiling as i drive down Hastings street (the view from a car window is an angle i'm not used to).
i'm in love with this place, even though i'm sure that i don't "belong" here. i don't belong anywhere really...i'm a citizen of heaven, but the DTES is treating me well as a home-away-from-home while i'm still alive.
whenever i go away from this place, i breathe a sigh of relief, and begin to think how sweet it could be to move away. but whenever i return i feel giddy and lovesick and wonder what is going on with my heart.
it's been quite a week in Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
we prayed, preached, prophesied, partied...it was my "best life ever."
re-entry, as usual, was jarring.
though i have lived in the Downtown East side for 2 years now (wow!) i still feel shocked every time i return to it.
i slept all day on planes, on buses and in airports, due to the all-nighter i pulled my last night in Maine (bad idea-- mom, dad, i will listen to your advice forever!)
as a result, i arrived in the DTES feeling like a drug-addict who needed some up (and probably looking like one too). how very incarnational of me.
as we pulled up to my apartment the first thing we notice is a firetruck parked right outside my door! the next thing we notice is an ambulance appearing and multiple paramedics rushing into my door, up the stairs.
we follow them up the stairs, lugging our under 50 lbs. suitcases behind us.
it turns out that one of my house-mates was having a bad reaction to some Tylenol-3s he had taken previously. nothing serious, but still quite a jolting, dramatic entrance back into our household. welcome home.
then i sat on a couch and chatted with my family here about my time in Maine. after sitting for a few minutes i realized that i was scratching my ankles furiously. these were no left-over mosquito bites from Maine. nor was this the irritating sensation of peeling, sunburned skin. no-- these were something else i'm equally familiar with-- bedbug bites. i'm back for less than one hour and i've already met 10 paramedics and been assaulted by a pestilence. welcome home.
i indulged myself with a (much needed) bath...in the dark because our bathroom light isn't working. i went to bed early and awoke early (i love jet lag) only to lay in bed and listen to the hullabaloo in the alley beneath my window. it's good to be back.
as i walked down the street yesterday i felt like it was dirtier then ever before. i figured that it was just the culture shock of leaving and returning-- but then someone informed me that the garbage workers have all gone on strike for the past 4 weeks. this means that dumpsters are overflowing, alleys are teeming, and the sidewalks are beginning to remind me of Nigeria. piles and piles of garbage everywhere and anywhere. this has also resulted in a new discovery of a RAT in our house. i've come to terms with cockroaches and mice, but rats!? oh man, we'd better get rid of that union... ;o)
it's a lovely reality to return home to.
i have never been anywhere quite like the DTES. it's horrible, and i have many reasons why i should hate it here-- but it seems to have this strange sucking power. i suppose that's the call of God on my life. if you could separate my life from the Divine, then my love for this neighborhood is inexplicable. He's given me a love for the DTES that is real-- it's not a "i SHOULD love the poor, so i'll be good to them." it's a genuine love that even overflows into smiling as i drive down Hastings street (the view from a car window is an angle i'm not used to).
i'm in love with this place, even though i'm sure that i don't "belong" here. i don't belong anywhere really...i'm a citizen of heaven, but the DTES is treating me well as a home-away-from-home while i'm still alive.
whenever i go away from this place, i breathe a sigh of relief, and begin to think how sweet it could be to move away. but whenever i return i feel giddy and lovesick and wonder what is going on with my heart.
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