His grace seems to be consuming my thoughts these days.
this morning in the War Room i spent some time boasting in my weakness.
i lay on the floor (which was shockingly dirty from that angle) and meditated on my own weakness juxtaposed with His perfection.
this lead to me sharing with Him my deep brokenness.
then it lead me to worship as i reflected on the price He paid to bring me, fragile little me with all my issues, to Himself.
then it led me to a place of trusting-- He covers me. i no longer felt shame for who i am, but i felt safe in Him, my Refuge. and i feel confident that He is healing me and sanctifying me and strengthening me. i trust Him to do this.
"i have not much to offer You
not near what You deserve
but still i come
because Your cross
has placed in me my worth.
Jesus- my King of sympathy
Whose wounds secured my peace
Your grace extends
to call me 'friend,'
Your mercy sets me free
i know i'm weak
i know i'm unworthy
to call upon Your name.
because of Your grace
because of Your mercy
i stand here unashamed.
i can't explain this kind of love
i'm humbled and amazed
that You came down
from Heaven's heights
to greet me face to Face.
Here i am
at Your feet
in my brokenness, complete."
--Starfield.
even my holiness seems so dirty when i look at Him.
but i trust Him.
right now i'm laying, in a johnny, on a metal table with paper on it, waiting for Him to come and do some surgery.
i'm not going to try and fix myself by doing surgery with a blunt stick.
i'm going to allow Him to cut me cleanly with His sharp Words that slice like a razor. i know He works well.
is it possible, in some twisted way, that the Lord could will someone to sin, because He wants to teach them about humility, and dependence on Him?
i know that He can use even the worst of situations, but do you ever wonder if He planned it to happen?
5 comments:
I can't believe no one has commented on this post yet!
Powerful imagery here; His grace is so much more than we deserve yet He lavishes it upon us.
Had a moment with Jesus on the bus listening to that song today -- oh man it was cool.
jp
Beautiful blog Liv. Sufficient indeed. Such a deep concept, so well-expressed. Bless you.
Regarding God's will and sin . . . he has no "twisted way" -- can neither tempt nor be tempted. He is all light. No shadow, no darkness.
I believe best case, the Lord wants us to learn most everything in the prayer closet, not the hard way, i.e. through sin and failure. Surely we can learn humility by obedience and the suffering intrinsic to obedience -- like Jesus did -- it is not necessary to sin in order to learn humility or else Jesus (truly and properly man) couldn't have learned it so well.
Fullness
jm
Olivia I think we must be sharing a mutual experience! What you have expressed mirrors my own feelings at present.
Let's not forget that according to scripture the evil spirit that tormented Saul was sent by God!
Sometimes God's ways are quite literally beyond our comprehension.
However, the fact that all things work together for good doesn't mean that all things are part of God's ideal will for us. Also, remember we are kept low by grace and not by sin!
Much love and many prayers
A
Powerful thoughts this morning, deeply felt, eleoquently expressed. It is our deepest pain as believers to see ourselves in comparison to Christ Jesus - we are nothing, less than nothing.
And still, He embraces us as valuable and He draws us close and rectifies for our perspective - "You are important enough to ME that this sacrifice I make is worth every part of pain I will endure."
Earth-shattering for the soul.
God's sanctification of our soul brings His perfection, yet it impossible not to see the brokenness present, our sin, our uncleanness. On the metal table with paper for surgery - an intense visual statement fo trust and spiritual need that we all require.
His grace, His sanctification allows to stand before Him unashamed - what a treasure trove of expression you have composed within this statement.
The beauty of Jesus through us, and the humility we are provided from God, does not have to be received through intentional acts of sin. But they are provided for a believer through a daily routine of meeting the day and understanding that today, this day, is the day the the LORD has made. Regardless of what it contains (pain, joy, grief, suffering, fulfilled dream) I WILL REJOICE.
Original sin is within our nature, God does not call us to sin - He calls us to obedience - yes He calls us to His light.
Your Starfield stanzas are poignant and visceral. "Here I am at Your feet in my brokenness, complete."
Your thoughts have been a blessing to my heart this morning. Thank you
I have wondered the same thing.
For ages it has seemed whenever I seem to be going great with Jesus, then I screw something up, and, yes, have to humble myself.
I was musing on this today, and it made me wonder if I'm going about things the wrong way. As in, am I using my relationship with Jesus to make myself 'clean,' just so I can be clean, or am I wanting to become clean so I can have a relationship with God?
One had righteousness as an end in itself, the other has relationship as an end in itself.
I'm guessing what we should strive for is relationship with God, and 'cleanliness' will come as an expression of that. Does that make any sense at all?
What do you think?
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