Ready And Willing Whatever.

cahrazey week at RAW-- "Ready And Willing" youth THING.

definitely not a conference (the Lord hates those, Amos 5:21-24).
also definitely not a retreat (did our Captain sound the call to retreat? are we being pushed back by the enemy? i think not! no retreating, hell defeating)

so i'm not quite sure what to call RAW...an advance? an experience? training? Ready And Willing anti-conference?

whatever we call it, it was an important time:

these teens didn't gather together to spiritually please themselves, and leave feeling like an emotional mess. rather, they gave up their spring break, and came to the Downtown Eastside to serve the poor, and "dance upon injustice" (i'm still pretty sure that phrase is not in the Bible, but it's a catchy one anyway).

i praught (the teacher taught, the preacher praught-- ht, sargent xc) on Monday night-- probably the shortest, most disjointed sermon of all times. very silly.

but i console myself with this:
when Billy Graham was nearing the end of his first sermon, he felt like it wasn't long enough, so he started a second sermon. when that one was done, and he still didn't feel like it was long enough, so he started a third sermon. then he looked at the clock, and 5 minutes had passed. (ht, soldier spb)

that's pretty encouraging, eh?
mine was 11.5 minutes (who's counting?--ht, captain sec), and that was only one sermon, so guess i'm doing aiight.

the main point of this blog is this: i'm a better preacher than Billy Graham ;o)
kidding.


in other news, my emotions are as fragile as a porcelain doll.
i reckon that this has something to do with the fact that i chilled on the floor for 3 nights, surrounded by 15 year old girls, rarely sleeping. this resulted in physical fatigue (and sore muscles), emotional fatigue (i love those girls so much it hurts), BUT--
no spiritual fatigue. nuh-uh. when we serve the Lord, it energizes us (ht, major db). pouring all my love, energy and time into 11 teenage girls doesn't make me feel depleted-- it builds me up. i feel pumped!

i think i cried half a dozen times on Wednesday. everything just seems like such a big deal when you're tired.

i remember, as a child, feeling deep sorrow over the injustices in my life (i.e. my mom making me brush my teeth, my dad making me turn off the tv and go play outside)-- they were SUCH big deals to me. i felt like the world was against me, and it caused me great angst.
i also recall my mother looking at me patronizingly, and saying, "you're just tired sweetie."
it was horrible to feel like my own mother could summarize all of my massive problems so succinctly. so debasing-- belittling all of my titanic predicaments.

but this is precisely what's going on in me, even 12 years later:
i feel like every little problem is a huge deal...but i'm probably just tired.
perhaps you shouldn't remind me of that. i could easily burst into tears.

teenagers. oh my dear.