i'm finally beginning to understand the distinction between blameless and faultless.
because of the blood of Jesus which took away my sin, i am now blameless. hallelujah.
but i'm not faultless. cuz i'm human.
i tend to resent the phrase "no one is perfect," because it seems anti-holiness to me. it always sounded to me like people were making excuses for their sin.
but today i have learned that, while my sinful nature is crucified, my human nature is still alive and kickin. good thing...otherwise, well, i'd be dead. i learned today that i'm still very faulty. i still make mistakes-- even if not direct sin and rebellion. i learned today that no one is perfect. sigh...
here's how i messed up:
1) fell asleep for a few minutes while praying.
2) typed an incorrect number in the ATM which makes my balance look bigger than it is.
3) hurt a guys feelings when i turned down his offer of going out to dinner-- i probably was too abrupt.
4) i booked a guy out of the Haven shelter, and gave his bed away, after having told him that he was set for the next 10 days. now he has no place to sleep, even though he should have one.
i've certainly made a few mistakes.
but after the last aberration (the worst of all-- because it cost someone else), i got really down on myself, and began to question, if perhaps i've not been made holy after all.
praise the Lord-- He's teaching me about grace. upon reflection of my mistakes, i realized that none of them fall under Wesley's definition of "sin properly-so-called"-- a voluntary transgression of a known law of God. so, i can't get under condemnation for these errors-- they weren't intentional, and they weren't my heart. i just made some mistakes. and that's okay. no one's perfect :o)
i'm so glad that He is gracious to me.
guess what!!
tomorrow morning i'm hopping on a aeroplane and getting out of here. oh man, a break will be lovely.
i'm going to Urbana Missions Fest (over 25,000 people!) and helping to man a Salvation Army booth,
then i'm going to New York to see my parents (wahoo!)
and then i'm going to Puerto Rico...to lay on the beach. yesss.....
since i don't necessarily practice a weekly sabbath, every six months or so, two weeks off is good enough.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
people get ready
a regular day for me this week has been, and will be--
5am-8am War Room Shift
10am-2pm Kettle Shift
4pm-12pm Work
and then it all begins again.
so i've not had much quality time with my pillow.
but i've had some CRAZY good War Room shifts! oh man! i have no theology to back this up, but in my experience, the harder the hours, and the more costly it is to get up and pray, the bigger the blessing.
today was as intense as ever.
He gave me a deep sense of urgency. check this song out:
http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/worshipmusic/fm038-06.mp3
if you can't listen to it, then here are some of the words:
"time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
'what a fool,' they say,
'to build a boat on the sand,
what a fool,' they say.
' it's never rained before!'
but time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
people get ready
Jesus is coming
'what a fool,' they say,
'to fast and pray,
it's been two thousand years,
let's get real,
do you really think He's coming?
what a fool,' they say,
'it's never rained before...'
'...rain, rain go away,
hide me from the wrath of the Lamb!'
and when the rain starts coming
it's too late."
dude.
i've got no words besides--
JESUS IS COMING.
and all that those words mean.
5am-8am War Room Shift
10am-2pm Kettle Shift
4pm-12pm Work
and then it all begins again.
so i've not had much quality time with my pillow.
but i've had some CRAZY good War Room shifts! oh man! i have no theology to back this up, but in my experience, the harder the hours, and the more costly it is to get up and pray, the bigger the blessing.
today was as intense as ever.
He gave me a deep sense of urgency. check this song out:
http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/worshipmusic/fm038-06.mp3
if you can't listen to it, then here are some of the words:
"time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
'what a fool,' they say,
'to build a boat on the sand,
what a fool,' they say.
' it's never rained before!'
but time. time. is ticking by.
and i can feel an explosion inside
as in the days of Noah.
people get ready
Jesus is coming
'what a fool,' they say,
'to fast and pray,
it's been two thousand years,
let's get real,
do you really think He's coming?
what a fool,' they say,
'it's never rained before...'
'...rain, rain go away,
hide me from the wrath of the Lamb!'
and when the rain starts coming
it's too late."
dude.
i've got no words besides--
JESUS IS COMING.
and all that those words mean.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Listen to this
Romans 6
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 7
1Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
4So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. 5For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. "
i used to get confused about Romans 7, book-ended by Romans 6 and 8. it seemed contradictory.
now it seems to make sense-- Paul is talking about life before he was made holy. he goes on about how he is a slave to his sinful nature, and how he can't even do what is right if he wants to. but the context of chapter 6 baffled me, because chapter 6 is all about freedom from the sinful nature. i wondered if chapter 7 negated all of chapter 6.
but now i read chapter 8--
and i see that it is not all about "no condemnation" for sinners. it's about holiness.
it's about how we used to be slaves to sin, but now we have been set free, and thus have no condemnation. Paul gets it. he gets that we are completely unable to resist sin, unless we are in Jesus Christ, and crucify our sinful natures with Him.
i'm convinced. and i testify-- i could not resist sin either! but that was back when i was still in slavery to my fully functioning sinful nature.
Hallelujah-- no more! i am a slave of God, and of righteousness, and my mind is controlled by the Holy Spirit. wow, He is good. He did not allow me to remain in bondage that was leading me to eternal death-- He set me free! oh, how i love Him.
i urge you-- be freed from slavery to sin. it kills.
allow Him to set you free. be crucified with Him. it's impossible to evade the sin that pulls you into death, while still stuck in slavery.
Hallelujah.
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 7
1Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
4So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. 5For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 8
1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. "
i used to get confused about Romans 7, book-ended by Romans 6 and 8. it seemed contradictory.
now it seems to make sense-- Paul is talking about life before he was made holy. he goes on about how he is a slave to his sinful nature, and how he can't even do what is right if he wants to. but the context of chapter 6 baffled me, because chapter 6 is all about freedom from the sinful nature. i wondered if chapter 7 negated all of chapter 6.
but now i read chapter 8--
and i see that it is not all about "no condemnation" for sinners. it's about holiness.
it's about how we used to be slaves to sin, but now we have been set free, and thus have no condemnation. Paul gets it. he gets that we are completely unable to resist sin, unless we are in Jesus Christ, and crucify our sinful natures with Him.
i'm convinced. and i testify-- i could not resist sin either! but that was back when i was still in slavery to my fully functioning sinful nature.
Hallelujah-- no more! i am a slave of God, and of righteousness, and my mind is controlled by the Holy Spirit. wow, He is good. He did not allow me to remain in bondage that was leading me to eternal death-- He set me free! oh, how i love Him.
i urge you-- be freed from slavery to sin. it kills.
allow Him to set you free. be crucified with Him. it's impossible to evade the sin that pulls you into death, while still stuck in slavery.
Hallelujah.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
snapshots.
my beloved brother
women's march in the downtown east side
the girls and i
Westbrook Bible Bowl circa 2004
Lagos, Nigeria
OOB dancing ladies
mums and pops :o)
awww.....
alley behind re:cre8
me and the bizzoys (we're so young!)
bus in Vancouver
the girls and i
Westbrook Bible Bowl circa 2004
Lagos, Nigeria
OOB dancing ladies
mums and pops :o)
awww.....
alley behind re:cre8
me and the bizzoys (we're so young!)
bus in Vancouver
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
x-woman
sometimes i feel like Rogue from x-men.
whatever Rogue touches dies. she has to keep her skin covered at all times, because if she accidentally touches someone with her bare skin, they'll shrivel up and their veins will pop out, and they'll begin to suffocate.
i feel like her because i seem to be ruining everything i touch.
literally:
i may have single handedly ruined an iPod and a computer at the same time. Kirsten's iPod (a few months ago she deleted all of her photos from her camera...today i deleted all of her songs from her iPod), and Stephen Courts computer. big...deal! huge deal! oh man. that computer probably has years of work on it, and priceless documents.
and figuratively:
i've had two "bosses" mad at me recently for various mistakes that i've made, or duties that i've neglected doing.
bah. the Lord is so gracious to me...hallelujah i need it.
whatever Rogue touches dies. she has to keep her skin covered at all times, because if she accidentally touches someone with her bare skin, they'll shrivel up and their veins will pop out, and they'll begin to suffocate.
i feel like her because i seem to be ruining everything i touch.
literally:
i may have single handedly ruined an iPod and a computer at the same time. Kirsten's iPod (a few months ago she deleted all of her photos from her camera...today i deleted all of her songs from her iPod), and Stephen Courts computer. big...deal! huge deal! oh man. that computer probably has years of work on it, and priceless documents.
and figuratively:
i've had two "bosses" mad at me recently for various mistakes that i've made, or duties that i've neglected doing.
bah. the Lord is so gracious to me...hallelujah i need it.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
I renounce and hate materialism in my life
Just to be able to eat more than once a day is more than enough, and a blessing.
Matt 6: 31
I renounce and hate the opinion that to just work in a worldly un-mission focused environment and just sponsor a child is enough
People are dying everywhere and I am privileged enough to have a voice to protest and money to fund this.
Matt 25:25
I renounce and hate self indulgent entertainment that in my privileged position I have been able to have.
Entertainment is not a right, or an option to waste money and time on. When thousands are crying for help I can not and must not be found using the money thatcould save these peoples life's on a pointless trip to a theme park or buying the latest movie.
Matt 25:45-46
I am at war, we are at war! I believe that if I don't pull rank and start fighting I am guilty of a great sin seeing a problem, being able to fix it and not doing anything. this opinion is not open for dispute with anything less than the word of God itself.
Romans 2:5b-14
-- taken from peter footers blog
i might add
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
(1 John 3:17)
and
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.
(Proverbs 21:13)
Just to be able to eat more than once a day is more than enough, and a blessing.
Matt 6: 31
I renounce and hate the opinion that to just work in a worldly un-mission focused environment and just sponsor a child is enough
People are dying everywhere and I am privileged enough to have a voice to protest and money to fund this.
Matt 25:25
I renounce and hate self indulgent entertainment that in my privileged position I have been able to have.
Entertainment is not a right, or an option to waste money and time on. When thousands are crying for help I can not and must not be found using the money thatcould save these peoples life's on a pointless trip to a theme park or buying the latest movie.
Matt 25:45-46
I am at war, we are at war! I believe that if I don't pull rank and start fighting I am guilty of a great sin seeing a problem, being able to fix it and not doing anything. this opinion is not open for dispute with anything less than the word of God itself.
Romans 2:5b-14
-- taken from peter footers blog
i might add
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
(1 John 3:17)
and
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.
(Proverbs 21:13)
Monday, November 27, 2006
effeteness at war with efficacy
this week i have been feeling convicted...
what i have been convicted of could be called by a few names:
1) selfishness
2) being ingrown/inward focused
3) effeteness
4) spiritual masturbation.
i suppose the first two definitions are more self-explanatory than three or four.
effete can be defined as:
1.Depleted of vitality, force, or effectiveness; exhausted.
2.Marked by self-indulgence, triviality, or decadence.
3.Overrefined; effeminate.
4.No longer productive; infertile.
and spiritual masturbation is intimacy and pleasure without any results. it's Christianity for the way that it makes you feel, but not seeing any fruit. as believers in a love relationship with Jesus, we should produce spiritual offspring-- converts.
so i've repented. i've changed a few things in my schedule and behaviors which force me to be on the streets, and evangelizing with more boldness than usual. i'm fed up with not seeing anyone get saved.
however, with this recent lifestyle change, i've been discouraged. i'm trying harder than ever to help revolutionize the world, but i'm not seeing much more fruit. last night i had a crisis when suddenly i sank into discouragement-- i had pleaded with so many people for days, and nothing was working. i want to see people pass from death to life! i want to see mass repentance like you read about.
i used to get mad at God for not changing the Downtown East side. then i had a revelation that He wants metamorphosis more than i do--but He needs faithful workers. so i'm trying to be faithful...but now i'm getting mad at myself for the lack of transformation in my neighborhood.
perhaps i'm depending too much on my own strength and strategies. i'm not sure. whatever the cause for this ineffectiveness, i want to get rid of it.
do you relate?
use me, Lord.
give Your servants great boldness in their preaching; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of Your Holy Servant, Jesus. (Acts 4:29-30)
what i have been convicted of could be called by a few names:
1) selfishness
2) being ingrown/inward focused
3) effeteness
4) spiritual masturbation.
i suppose the first two definitions are more self-explanatory than three or four.
effete can be defined as:
1.Depleted of vitality, force, or effectiveness; exhausted.
2.Marked by self-indulgence, triviality, or decadence.
3.Overrefined; effeminate.
4.No longer productive; infertile.
and spiritual masturbation is intimacy and pleasure without any results. it's Christianity for the way that it makes you feel, but not seeing any fruit. as believers in a love relationship with Jesus, we should produce spiritual offspring-- converts.
so i've repented. i've changed a few things in my schedule and behaviors which force me to be on the streets, and evangelizing with more boldness than usual. i'm fed up with not seeing anyone get saved.
however, with this recent lifestyle change, i've been discouraged. i'm trying harder than ever to help revolutionize the world, but i'm not seeing much more fruit. last night i had a crisis when suddenly i sank into discouragement-- i had pleaded with so many people for days, and nothing was working. i want to see people pass from death to life! i want to see mass repentance like you read about.
i used to get mad at God for not changing the Downtown East side. then i had a revelation that He wants metamorphosis more than i do--but He needs faithful workers. so i'm trying to be faithful...but now i'm getting mad at myself for the lack of transformation in my neighborhood.
perhaps i'm depending too much on my own strength and strategies. i'm not sure. whatever the cause for this ineffectiveness, i want to get rid of it.
do you relate?
use me, Lord.
give Your servants great boldness in their preaching; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of Your Holy Servant, Jesus. (Acts 4:29-30)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
full.
last night i led (delegated) the all night of prayer here at 614. eight crazy hours of worship, intercession, praying the Bible, praying the fight songs in the song book, listening prayer, singing, encouragement...lovely time. i believe it was our fifth all night of prayer since i've lived here (is that true?).
one guy i've been trying to get saved for weeks came and stayed for all eight hours. during a prayer walk, i bumped into another guy we know who is saved, but who is struggling quite a bit, and he came back with me as well and stayed for the rest of the night. it was deep community--war college students, strangers, cellmates, sinners--all kinds of people.
come 6am i wasn't even tired cuz i was so pumped. so i went out for breakfast at McDonald's and watched the sunrise. *heavy sigh*...
my tired state did not help me with my wild night at work tonight.
i believe the craziness resulted because of a combination of two factors:
1) welfare Wednesday was this week. people have money, and can spend it and get high...it's a very dark time.
2) it was SNOWING tonight, so everyone wants a bed, of course.
3) it's the weekend. people party on weekends.
probably the most hectic night yet. we had to kick someone out, we had yelling, someone kicked out the back of a chair, someone spat at me...we were threatened...phew.
i just have such sweet times here. life is beautiful. i feel that i'm beginning to see the fruit of labor a bit.
Lord, bring on the harvest! make us faithful workers, please. we're not here to please ourselves, to feel spiritually impressive, to get some experience, or to use some addicts as guinea pigs in our evangelism techniques. nope.
we are here to win the world for Jesus, beginning in the downtown East side of Vancouver. help us, Lord. please convict us of any selfishness, and hearts of stone. may we be in alignment with Your purposes.
one guy i've been trying to get saved for weeks came and stayed for all eight hours. during a prayer walk, i bumped into another guy we know who is saved, but who is struggling quite a bit, and he came back with me as well and stayed for the rest of the night. it was deep community--war college students, strangers, cellmates, sinners--all kinds of people.
come 6am i wasn't even tired cuz i was so pumped. so i went out for breakfast at McDonald's and watched the sunrise. *heavy sigh*...
my tired state did not help me with my wild night at work tonight.
i believe the craziness resulted because of a combination of two factors:
1) welfare Wednesday was this week. people have money, and can spend it and get high...it's a very dark time.
2) it was SNOWING tonight, so everyone wants a bed, of course.
3) it's the weekend. people party on weekends.
probably the most hectic night yet. we had to kick someone out, we had yelling, someone kicked out the back of a chair, someone spat at me...we were threatened...phew.
i just have such sweet times here. life is beautiful. i feel that i'm beginning to see the fruit of labor a bit.
Lord, bring on the harvest! make us faithful workers, please. we're not here to please ourselves, to feel spiritually impressive, to get some experience, or to use some addicts as guinea pigs in our evangelism techniques. nope.
we are here to win the world for Jesus, beginning in the downtown East side of Vancouver. help us, Lord. please convict us of any selfishness, and hearts of stone. may we be in alignment with Your purposes.
Friday, November 24, 2006
hungry for the fullness of Christ
More on the sevenfold Spirit of God.
Isaiah 11:1-3 (NIV)
A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him--
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord--
this would be a (partial) explanation of the sevenfold Spirit -- as follows:
1. The Spirit of the LORD
2. The Spirit of wisdom
3. [The Spirit] of understanding
4. The Spirit of counsel
5. [The Spirit] of power
6. The Spirit of knowledge
7. [The Spirit] of the fear of the LORD
fascinating, eh? hm...
Isaiah 11:1-3 (NIV)
A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him--
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of power,
the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord--
this would be a (partial) explanation of the sevenfold Spirit -- as follows:
1. The Spirit of the LORD
2. The Spirit of wisdom
3. [The Spirit] of understanding
4. The Spirit of counsel
5. [The Spirit] of power
6. The Spirit of knowledge
7. [The Spirit] of the fear of the LORD
fascinating, eh? hm...
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
i'm legal!
well...
my visa extension came through! hallelujah! and thank you, to all who prayed.
it was flippin easy-- they didn't even question me. praise the Lord.
here's a new interesting theological opinion i heard this week:
the Bible never directly mentions the Trinity-- true enough. but it does mention the seven-fold spirit of God.
is it possible that we have only identified three of the seven spirits of Yahweh?
and, what would the word be: Septinity?
anyway, it surprised me, i had never thought of it before, so i'm throwing it out there. if you don't like it...send it right back. ;o)
my visa extension came through! hallelujah! and thank you, to all who prayed.
it was flippin easy-- they didn't even question me. praise the Lord.
here's a new interesting theological opinion i heard this week:
the Bible never directly mentions the Trinity-- true enough. but it does mention the seven-fold spirit of God.
is it possible that we have only identified three of the seven spirits of Yahweh?
and, what would the word be: Septinity?
anyway, it surprised me, i had never thought of it before, so i'm throwing it out there. if you don't like it...send it right back. ;o)
Monday, November 20, 2006
follicular homicide
if you think of it,
please pray for me today, and particularly tomorrow morning.
i'm headed down to Seattle, to the Canadian Consulate, to ask (beg) them to give me an extension on my visa. if this doesn't come through, then i'll have to mail for one. that is supposed to take 2 months to come through, which is more time than i have.
anyway, i could use some FAVOR. i want to slip right through customs and immigration like i have butter on my shoes...aww yeea.
so i cut someones hair last night. if you know me well (mom), you will recall that my experiences of hair styling in the past have been rather...dramatic. and perhaps traumatic.
it wasn't so bad this time! okay, so there is one little spot in the back which is rather bald, but if you pull the rest of the hair over it, you barely even notice.
anyway, i was pretty impressed with my abilities. i think i'm going into the business soon.
of course, hair clearly is not as sacred to me as it is to my hair stylist back in Maine,
"olivia, friends don't let friends cut each others hair!"
(spin off of 'friends don't let friends drive drunk.')
to illustrate my lack of honour for my coif, hear this:
i work in a men's shelter. we had a certain client come in, who was quite hilarious, and rather flamboyant. we chatted for a bit, and he told me that he used to be a hair stylist, and that he would LOOOOVE to cut my hair, because it was SOOOO healthy. so i let him. took off my toque (translation: beanie) in the middle of this shelter, and let him clip away. perhaps i was the first female to ever get a haircut in that building-- i certainly felt out of place.
the whole process took about an hour and a half, and it ended up being...about 4 inches shorter than just a trim. a little piece of me died every time i espied a curl falling to the filthy floor. ;o)
some have commented that i was foolish to let a homeless man cut my hair...but i say i was wise-- it was free. and perhaps incarnational?
sure, the haircut sucks, but i'd rather have a story than perfectly stylized, flowing locks.
please pray for me today, and particularly tomorrow morning.
i'm headed down to Seattle, to the Canadian Consulate, to ask (beg) them to give me an extension on my visa. if this doesn't come through, then i'll have to mail for one. that is supposed to take 2 months to come through, which is more time than i have.
anyway, i could use some FAVOR. i want to slip right through customs and immigration like i have butter on my shoes...aww yeea.
so i cut someones hair last night. if you know me well (mom), you will recall that my experiences of hair styling in the past have been rather...dramatic. and perhaps traumatic.
it wasn't so bad this time! okay, so there is one little spot in the back which is rather bald, but if you pull the rest of the hair over it, you barely even notice.
anyway, i was pretty impressed with my abilities. i think i'm going into the business soon.
of course, hair clearly is not as sacred to me as it is to my hair stylist back in Maine,
"olivia, friends don't let friends cut each others hair!"
(spin off of 'friends don't let friends drive drunk.')
to illustrate my lack of honour for my coif, hear this:
i work in a men's shelter. we had a certain client come in, who was quite hilarious, and rather flamboyant. we chatted for a bit, and he told me that he used to be a hair stylist, and that he would LOOOOVE to cut my hair, because it was SOOOO healthy. so i let him. took off my toque (translation: beanie) in the middle of this shelter, and let him clip away. perhaps i was the first female to ever get a haircut in that building-- i certainly felt out of place.
the whole process took about an hour and a half, and it ended up being...about 4 inches shorter than just a trim. a little piece of me died every time i espied a curl falling to the filthy floor. ;o)
some have commented that i was foolish to let a homeless man cut my hair...but i say i was wise-- it was free. and perhaps incarnational?
sure, the haircut sucks, but i'd rather have a story than perfectly stylized, flowing locks.
Friday, November 17, 2006
upon me
vital for me to realize--
i am stinkin rich.
even if i'm choosing to live simply and sacrifice some earthly comforts...
i still live in North America, i still have running water from 8 taps in my apartments (wow!), and a roof over my head that i can afford, even if i only worked 2 days a month. not to mention the perk of living in the Downtown East side of Vancouver-- 7 free meals a day (more since i'm a woman), handouts all over the place, and even free heroin if i want it.
even if i move to a remote village in Africa, with no resources, i'll always have the option of hopping on a flight back to New York, where my parents could help me out. i am rich because i have options. the poor cannot get out.
i receive all my rebukes toward the wealthy.
Lord, help me never to think of myself more highly (or lowly) than i ought.
i am stinkin rich.
even if i'm choosing to live simply and sacrifice some earthly comforts...
i still live in North America, i still have running water from 8 taps in my apartments (wow!), and a roof over my head that i can afford, even if i only worked 2 days a month. not to mention the perk of living in the Downtown East side of Vancouver-- 7 free meals a day (more since i'm a woman), handouts all over the place, and even free heroin if i want it.
even if i move to a remote village in Africa, with no resources, i'll always have the option of hopping on a flight back to New York, where my parents could help me out. i am rich because i have options. the poor cannot get out.
i receive all my rebukes toward the wealthy.
Lord, help me never to think of myself more highly (or lowly) than i ought.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
bias for the poor
FIRST OF ALL-- i'm surprised by the lack of response to my last post. to me that quote as completely changed the way i do evangelism! it made me stop worrying about "shoving Jesus down peoples throats" and start getting it into them in any way that i can. and, i must add, it has been more effective than holding back when i am concerned about offending people.
if people didn't love the quote, i figured they'd hate it and disagree fully. ah well, maybe it doesn't stick out to all as it did to me.
just came back from a "National Philanthropy" luncheon thing. Danielle and i were representing the Salvation Army. it was all very formal, very delicious, and very...pointless. no offense to the philanthropists. i suppose i am one.
the speaker was Justin Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.
my table mates (and possibly all 750 guests) were unimpressed.
most of what he said was wishy-washy, insubstantial, shallow, long winded, some might even say self-centered and arrogant. eek.
the Lord is convicting me a bit, however, of my prejudice against the wealthy. i found it hard to like the guy, simply because he is rich and doesn't seem to DO anything. i much prefer the poor who don't do anything. hm. the Lord speaks harshly against the rich in many many verses of Scripture, but i'm sure that it must be wrong of me to be disgusted by all wealthy. thoughts?
here is a though which he threw out, which i will gladly throw away--
we should all give as much as we can, because we gain from it
(is it really giving when you gain in return?)
but in these times of superficiality, it's fun to try and think of something worth preaching on in the midst. here's my best attempt:
"as citizens, we should stop thinking about rights, and start thinking about responsibilities."
okay, so i'm not a Canadian citizen, but i am a citizen of heaven. as a citizen of heaven, i ought not think only about what rights that gives me, but also about what responsibilities my citizenship gives me. that could preach, don't you think?
meh. it's the most i could find in between lines of filler and ramble.
so, is it wrong for me to be repulsed by the wealthy?
if people didn't love the quote, i figured they'd hate it and disagree fully. ah well, maybe it doesn't stick out to all as it did to me.
just came back from a "National Philanthropy" luncheon thing. Danielle and i were representing the Salvation Army. it was all very formal, very delicious, and very...pointless. no offense to the philanthropists. i suppose i am one.
the speaker was Justin Trudeau, son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.
my table mates (and possibly all 750 guests) were unimpressed.
most of what he said was wishy-washy, insubstantial, shallow, long winded, some might even say self-centered and arrogant. eek.
the Lord is convicting me a bit, however, of my prejudice against the wealthy. i found it hard to like the guy, simply because he is rich and doesn't seem to DO anything. i much prefer the poor who don't do anything. hm. the Lord speaks harshly against the rich in many many verses of Scripture, but i'm sure that it must be wrong of me to be disgusted by all wealthy. thoughts?
here is a though which he threw out, which i will gladly throw away--
we should all give as much as we can, because we gain from it
(is it really giving when you gain in return?)
but in these times of superficiality, it's fun to try and think of something worth preaching on in the midst. here's my best attempt:
"as citizens, we should stop thinking about rights, and start thinking about responsibilities."
okay, so i'm not a Canadian citizen, but i am a citizen of heaven. as a citizen of heaven, i ought not think only about what rights that gives me, but also about what responsibilities my citizenship gives me. that could preach, don't you think?
meh. it's the most i could find in between lines of filler and ramble.
so, is it wrong for me to be repulsed by the wealthy?
Monday, November 13, 2006
likeable? perhaps not. effective? yes.
not an exact quote, mind you--
"not shove it down their throats? how else will we get it down there?"
--Catherine Booth
(in regards to the good news of reconciliation with God)
hm... :o)
"not shove it down their throats? how else will we get it down there?"
--Catherine Booth
(in regards to the good news of reconciliation with God)
hm... :o)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Lord, I don't know-- how could I ever leave You?
You've always been there for me
You've always been good to me
You've always been faithful...
and I could never leave You.
Lord, I don't know-- why would I ever leave You?
You've never hurt me
You've never abandoned me
You'll never leave me...
and I should never leave You.
But I've walked away,
I've run away
I've spun around, turned my back, and walked away.
I've walked away,
I've run away
Lord, won't You come and take me back again today?
Draw me back to Your side
Make me Your faithful bride
help me to walk in white
make me Your faithful bride.
and then I hear You tenderly say,
'Come back, Love, to My side
I call you My faithful bride
you look so ravishing in white
My faithful warrior bride
'My Love, do you know-- I could never leave you?
I'm so glad you came home to Me
even though you hurt Me
even though you abandoned Me
I could never leave you.
'My Love, do you know-- I will never leave you?
I have always been here for you
I will always be good to you
I will always be faithful...
and I will never leave you.
I covenant myself with you.'
You've always been there for me
You've always been good to me
You've always been faithful...
and I could never leave You.
Lord, I don't know-- why would I ever leave You?
You've never hurt me
You've never abandoned me
You'll never leave me...
and I should never leave You.
But I've walked away,
I've run away
I've spun around, turned my back, and walked away.
I've walked away,
I've run away
Lord, won't You come and take me back again today?
Draw me back to Your side
Make me Your faithful bride
help me to walk in white
make me Your faithful bride.
and then I hear You tenderly say,
'Come back, Love, to My side
I call you My faithful bride
you look so ravishing in white
My faithful warrior bride
'My Love, do you know-- I could never leave you?
I'm so glad you came home to Me
even though you hurt Me
even though you abandoned Me
I could never leave you.
'My Love, do you know-- I will never leave you?
I have always been here for you
I will always be good to you
I will always be faithful...
and I will never leave you.
I covenant myself with you.'
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
lyrics in question
by the pathway of duty
flows the river, flows the river of Gods grace
by the pathway of duty
flows the river of Gods grace.
(from By the Pathway of Duty)
perhaps it's better put-- "by the river of Gods grace is the pathway of duty". we are saved by grace through faith (hallelujah!), though i certainly recognize the vital importance of duty. i just think grace should come first...we don't tire ourselves walking the pathway of duty for a few moments of rest here and there in Gods grace. this leads us to legalism, dead religion. we bask in the sweetness of grace our whole lives, while keeping our promises to God (duty).
Prone to wander, Lord, i feel it,
prone to leave the God i love.
(from Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing)
why would i ever leave the God i love? i love Him! i'm not even prone toward this-- nothing in me desires to bail on this beautiful relationship. i am not prone to wander, i am prone to life-long covenant, and deep, passionate intimacy with this God whom i love.
You give and take away,
my heart will choose to say,
'Lord blessed be Your name'
(from Blessed Be the Name of The Lord)
certainly Biblical-- Job said it-- Job who received a painfully long rebuke from the Lord. i prefer to sing, "You give and You give and You give and You give!" the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but He comes to give life in all its fullness...we should be careful not to blame God for taking blessings away from us.
if He does take anything away-- it's our sin, guilt, shame, sickness, mediocrity, and punishment...only to give us abundant life. praise the Lord.
i'm not SURE if these lyrics are passable. until i decide i'm refraining from singing them, just in case, because...as we know...words have power.
flows the river, flows the river of Gods grace
by the pathway of duty
flows the river of Gods grace.
(from By the Pathway of Duty)
perhaps it's better put-- "by the river of Gods grace is the pathway of duty". we are saved by grace through faith (hallelujah!), though i certainly recognize the vital importance of duty. i just think grace should come first...we don't tire ourselves walking the pathway of duty for a few moments of rest here and there in Gods grace. this leads us to legalism, dead religion. we bask in the sweetness of grace our whole lives, while keeping our promises to God (duty).
Prone to wander, Lord, i feel it,
prone to leave the God i love.
(from Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing)
why would i ever leave the God i love? i love Him! i'm not even prone toward this-- nothing in me desires to bail on this beautiful relationship. i am not prone to wander, i am prone to life-long covenant, and deep, passionate intimacy with this God whom i love.
You give and take away,
my heart will choose to say,
'Lord blessed be Your name'
(from Blessed Be the Name of The Lord)
certainly Biblical-- Job said it-- Job who received a painfully long rebuke from the Lord. i prefer to sing, "You give and You give and You give and You give!" the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but He comes to give life in all its fullness...we should be careful not to blame God for taking blessings away from us.
if He does take anything away-- it's our sin, guilt, shame, sickness, mediocrity, and punishment...only to give us abundant life. praise the Lord.
i'm not SURE if these lyrics are passable. until i decide i'm refraining from singing them, just in case, because...as we know...words have power.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Haven-- far from it
and so...after 4 days of work...i'm exhausted, yet full of quirky anecdotes.
my job right now is in a mens only shelter in the downtown east side, called the Haven. you can imagine that i never have a dull night-- fights breaking out, rigorous discussions about Jesus, being cussed out, confused clients, bathrooms with no doors or even stalls (don't worry, i don't use them), piles and piles of laundry, new friends, and finding bloody catheters in someones sheets. yes, it's true. there seems to be a new incident every evening. a new disgusting something found in someones bed, every evening.
you see, it is part of my job to check to see who didn't show up, and to strip their beds and wash the sheets. fortunately, it is not my job to tell the guys who have been waiting in the rain for 2 hours that there is not enough beds for them all. i leave that to the male half of the team...while i stick to the laundry, snacks, and evangelizing.
i refused to sign the "non-fraternizing" policy, and thus, i get to talk about Jesus as much as i want to! and i do. i basically spend most of my time hanging out and trying to get people saved...it's what i do already. it's a lifestyle-- why not get paid for it? (similar philosophy to my inclination towards officership.)
i also scored a free haircut by one curiously flamboyant client, a bag of Tim Horton's doughnuts found in the dumpster (a costly present someone gave to me), plenty of time to work on my book, 16 hours a week surrounded by lava lamps, a few marriage proposals, a lengthy phone conversation with a lady who called the Salvation Army simply because she wanted prayer (joyfully provided!), and my own swivel chair.
this is living.
if the Lord brings it to mind: pray for Jay, Brian, Marc, Aaron, Benjamin, Geoff, and James. These are a few guys whom the Lord is pursuing...i want to be there when He arrests them and they fall madly in love.
come Lord Jesus, come.
my job right now is in a mens only shelter in the downtown east side, called the Haven. you can imagine that i never have a dull night-- fights breaking out, rigorous discussions about Jesus, being cussed out, confused clients, bathrooms with no doors or even stalls (don't worry, i don't use them), piles and piles of laundry, new friends, and finding bloody catheters in someones sheets. yes, it's true. there seems to be a new incident every evening. a new disgusting something found in someones bed, every evening.
you see, it is part of my job to check to see who didn't show up, and to strip their beds and wash the sheets. fortunately, it is not my job to tell the guys who have been waiting in the rain for 2 hours that there is not enough beds for them all. i leave that to the male half of the team...while i stick to the laundry, snacks, and evangelizing.
i refused to sign the "non-fraternizing" policy, and thus, i get to talk about Jesus as much as i want to! and i do. i basically spend most of my time hanging out and trying to get people saved...it's what i do already. it's a lifestyle-- why not get paid for it? (similar philosophy to my inclination towards officership.)
i also scored a free haircut by one curiously flamboyant client, a bag of Tim Horton's doughnuts found in the dumpster (a costly present someone gave to me), plenty of time to work on my book, 16 hours a week surrounded by lava lamps, a few marriage proposals, a lengthy phone conversation with a lady who called the Salvation Army simply because she wanted prayer (joyfully provided!), and my own swivel chair.
this is living.
if the Lord brings it to mind: pray for Jay, Brian, Marc, Aaron, Benjamin, Geoff, and James. These are a few guys whom the Lord is pursuing...i want to be there when He arrests them and they fall madly in love.
come Lord Jesus, come.
Monday, October 30, 2006
une question
i got a job!
wahoo.
p.s. i know that blogs are generally designed so that i write and you read...but this time i'm deviating from the norm, because i have a question, not something to expound upon.
please email me and tell me your thoughts-- olivia.munn@gmail.com
the whole idea of church leadership-- the rest of the Body submits to them, we obey them...we're permitted to express disagreements of course, but even if we disagree on a small matter, the expected response is to submit to the authority they have over us.
i never questioned this before: i'm actually quite committed to following whatever my leaders say-- they are my commanding officers, my sergeant-majors, i'm only a soldier, of course i obey.
now i am in a position of minor-leadership over the War College students...and i certainly appreciate it when they suck it up and do what i ask them to do, even when they don't like it, or don't feel comfortable.
spoke with a wise friend recently who suggested that our entire concept of church leadership is bunk. "priesthood of all believers!"
so i read scriptures that talk about submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ-- considering others better than ourselves-- having the same attitude that Christ Jesus had when He humbled Himself to death on a cross-- tricky stuff like that. i read Scriptures about submitting to governmental authorities, slaves submitting to their masters, wives submitting to their husbands, children submitting to their parents...specifics like that.
but i have yet to find much Scripture about believers submitting to one specific believer who has been placed in authority over them.
thus-- i am not sure of my opinion, yet.
so, will you please write to me and explain to me why we have set up our church system so that one person (or a team as it is in my corps) has authority over the rest?
i'd like to know. :o)
as my dear sister Cindy says-- "stay in the trenches."
wahoo.
p.s. i know that blogs are generally designed so that i write and you read...but this time i'm deviating from the norm, because i have a question, not something to expound upon.
please email me and tell me your thoughts-- olivia.munn@gmail.com
the whole idea of church leadership-- the rest of the Body submits to them, we obey them...we're permitted to express disagreements of course, but even if we disagree on a small matter, the expected response is to submit to the authority they have over us.
i never questioned this before: i'm actually quite committed to following whatever my leaders say-- they are my commanding officers, my sergeant-majors, i'm only a soldier, of course i obey.
now i am in a position of minor-leadership over the War College students...and i certainly appreciate it when they suck it up and do what i ask them to do, even when they don't like it, or don't feel comfortable.
spoke with a wise friend recently who suggested that our entire concept of church leadership is bunk. "priesthood of all believers!"
so i read scriptures that talk about submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ-- considering others better than ourselves-- having the same attitude that Christ Jesus had when He humbled Himself to death on a cross-- tricky stuff like that. i read Scriptures about submitting to governmental authorities, slaves submitting to their masters, wives submitting to their husbands, children submitting to their parents...specifics like that.
but i have yet to find much Scripture about believers submitting to one specific believer who has been placed in authority over them.
thus-- i am not sure of my opinion, yet.
so, will you please write to me and explain to me why we have set up our church system so that one person (or a team as it is in my corps) has authority over the rest?
i'd like to know. :o)
as my dear sister Cindy says-- "stay in the trenches."
Thursday, October 26, 2006
slow down
i'm back "home" and my life is again flying at a prodigious pace.
this weekend up north was positively blessed, for all of you who have been praying, or are otherwise interested.
curious lesson i learned:
my entire life, people have taught me, "prepare, prepare, prepare!" in regards to preaching. i feel that the Lord is saying the opposite: "wait, wait, wait."
this is in no way trying to disregard the essentiality and indispensability of Bible study and prayer...but i'm beginning to buy William Booth's (and Rowan Castle's) theory-- 15 minutes of prep before a preach.
i believe that my life is sermon prep-- i study the Word daily, i listen to Jesus daily, and my experiences and such lend me illustrations. this is plenty of prep. i do an hour of sermon prep every day when i do my rations in the morning. i do at least 3 hours of sermon prep every week when i do a war room shift. i do nonstop sermon prep as i commune with Jesus when i walk down the street. I do sermon prep whenever i buy a stranger a sandwich, or give them my socks. i do sermon prep as i keep my ears open to His voice.
perhaps we only need 15 minutes to ask Him what He wants to say through us to that congregation at that moment, and pray for Holy Spirit power.
so, while i could sit down and brainstorm and study for hours prior to a message...i find what is more effective, and enjoyable, is to always keep my ears turned toward Jesus. He tells me what to say-- this friday night it happened to be in the car on the way to youth councils. saturday night it happened to be during worship, and as the preach was happening.
anyway: beautiful weekend. God kept our team on our toes-- He changed our plans to His (frequently last minute...could have been earlier had we been listening instead of planning!) and consistently used us a we opened ourselves to Him. 40ish kids at the event, mostly believers: a few went from life to death this weekend, a few died to sin, a few met Him for the first time, though they believed for years, and more than a few wept. dear teens.
Lord-- we want fruit that remains!
God of peace, make them holy in every way, and may their whole spirits and souls and bodies be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. You will make this happen, for You, who called us, are faithful. (1 Thess. 5:23-24 olivia style)
amen.
never quit the field. the harvest is plentiful, the workers are few.
this weekend up north was positively blessed, for all of you who have been praying, or are otherwise interested.
curious lesson i learned:
my entire life, people have taught me, "prepare, prepare, prepare!" in regards to preaching. i feel that the Lord is saying the opposite: "wait, wait, wait."
this is in no way trying to disregard the essentiality and indispensability of Bible study and prayer...but i'm beginning to buy William Booth's (and Rowan Castle's) theory-- 15 minutes of prep before a preach.
i believe that my life is sermon prep-- i study the Word daily, i listen to Jesus daily, and my experiences and such lend me illustrations. this is plenty of prep. i do an hour of sermon prep every day when i do my rations in the morning. i do at least 3 hours of sermon prep every week when i do a war room shift. i do nonstop sermon prep as i commune with Jesus when i walk down the street. I do sermon prep whenever i buy a stranger a sandwich, or give them my socks. i do sermon prep as i keep my ears open to His voice.
perhaps we only need 15 minutes to ask Him what He wants to say through us to that congregation at that moment, and pray for Holy Spirit power.
so, while i could sit down and brainstorm and study for hours prior to a message...i find what is more effective, and enjoyable, is to always keep my ears turned toward Jesus. He tells me what to say-- this friday night it happened to be in the car on the way to youth councils. saturday night it happened to be during worship, and as the preach was happening.
anyway: beautiful weekend. God kept our team on our toes-- He changed our plans to His (frequently last minute...could have been earlier had we been listening instead of planning!) and consistently used us a we opened ourselves to Him. 40ish kids at the event, mostly believers: a few went from life to death this weekend, a few died to sin, a few met Him for the first time, though they believed for years, and more than a few wept. dear teens.
Lord-- we want fruit that remains!
God of peace, make them holy in every way, and may their whole spirits and souls and bodies be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. You will make this happen, for You, who called us, are faithful. (1 Thess. 5:23-24 olivia style)
amen.
never quit the field. the harvest is plentiful, the workers are few.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
shock troops
tomorrow a.m. i leave with a brigade to go up North-- Northern, British Columbia divisional youth councils. it's about 14 hours of driving (ick) with about 13 people...many of whom are teens. it's certainly going to be interesting.
our brigade from 614 is heading up all of the meetings. our responsibilities include the worship, the preaching, the appeals...everything. myself-- i'm preaching 3 times. please, please, please pray for us all. it's a wonderful opportunity, and we believe many kids are going to get saved, sanctified and sent out. pray that Holy Spirit would speak through us. pray that we would be a blessing. pray for Jesus to come, and for kids to meet the Lover of their souls this weekend. and pray for unity in our brigade. and healing for Xander's ear and Kath's head.
we have faith that we'll see some of the greater things Jesus speaks of, this weekend-- agree with us.
come, Lord Jesus, come.
fight on!
our brigade from 614 is heading up all of the meetings. our responsibilities include the worship, the preaching, the appeals...everything. myself-- i'm preaching 3 times. please, please, please pray for us all. it's a wonderful opportunity, and we believe many kids are going to get saved, sanctified and sent out. pray that Holy Spirit would speak through us. pray that we would be a blessing. pray for Jesus to come, and for kids to meet the Lover of their souls this weekend. and pray for unity in our brigade. and healing for Xander's ear and Kath's head.
we have faith that we'll see some of the greater things Jesus speaks of, this weekend-- agree with us.
come, Lord Jesus, come.
fight on!
Friday, October 13, 2006
6 of one, half a dozen of another
this is simply a P.S. to my most recent post below--
open air today: today no one was saved (that i have heard of yet), however, there were several massive victories--
anyway, praise the Lord for a willowy bit of insubstantial persecution. in my struggle against sin (my own sin and the worlds) i have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood-- so i'm not even close to Jesus' standard. yet He considers me a co-laborer. hm.
have you been hated for Christ? have you shed blood? are you in the 70% of the Christian population that is under persecution? tell me if you are, and what country you live in, and let me know if it is wrong for me to pray for persecution in my life.
though i'd love to be martyred for Christ (front row seats in heaven [Rev 6:9], and solidarity with Christ), i don't feel that now is the time: there is too much to be done, and i want to help.
however-- to be beaten, thrown in jail, slandered, mocked, tortured-- that i would love right now! i want to share in His sufferings and His glory (Rom. 8:18) and "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" (Philippians 3:10).
anyway, i didn't mean to pour all that out, i mostly want to rejoice about open air today.
and ask your opinion about persecution.
email me if you have lots to say: olivia.munn@gmail.com
egg in your hair? never mind, go on.
open air today: today no one was saved (that i have heard of yet), however, there were several massive victories--
- one man who believes but doesn't have any community was invited to Re:cre8 (our coffee house) and plugged into a cell, and he was stoked about it.
- we had about a dozen eggs thrown at us. strange, but i was beaming after this happened: Jesus said that the world would hate His disciples...sometimes i worry because so many people like me/614/the Salvation Army/the Church. so i thought that the eggs were a good sign that we were doing something right.
- a few strangers chased down the guy who threw the eggs, and one other young guy cleaned up the eggs and brought us paper towels-- i previously thought that these people were irritated by our presence, but this showed that they at least care about us. for me it was a glimpse of the light in darkness.
- i had a long, reality (spirit)-focused chat with a young girl-- probably around 17. not many of them around my neighborhood, so i was glad to make that connection.
- those giving the gospel shots were right on-- power packed. the music was bold and clear, despite my lacking in the leadership department. we also included visual art in the open air meeting for the first time.
- one War College warrior was cussed out her first time on the green crate (our version of a soap box) today, but came up a second time and broke it down hardcore.
anyway, praise the Lord for a willowy bit of insubstantial persecution. in my struggle against sin (my own sin and the worlds) i have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood-- so i'm not even close to Jesus' standard. yet He considers me a co-laborer. hm.
have you been hated for Christ? have you shed blood? are you in the 70% of the Christian population that is under persecution? tell me if you are, and what country you live in, and let me know if it is wrong for me to pray for persecution in my life.
though i'd love to be martyred for Christ (front row seats in heaven [Rev 6:9], and solidarity with Christ), i don't feel that now is the time: there is too much to be done, and i want to help.
however-- to be beaten, thrown in jail, slandered, mocked, tortured-- that i would love right now! i want to share in His sufferings and His glory (Rom. 8:18) and "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" (Philippians 3:10).
anyway, i didn't mean to pour all that out, i mostly want to rejoice about open air today.
and ask your opinion about persecution.
email me if you have lots to say: olivia.munn@gmail.com
egg in your hair? never mind, go on.
Lord, give us souls!
every friday i lead an open air meeting at Pigeon Park with the Revolutionary session. here's a picture of the so-called park where we open attack-- there's a small fountain downstage in this photo that is always running, and those benches are usually full of people. there are more benches on the other side of the park as well. the artwork in the back is all done on giant chalk boards (cool, eh?) so it's changing all the time. the soggy weather pictured here is generally accurate.
pray for our open air meetings: last month we had 5 people get saved through conversations after open air finished. i long to see mass repentance like you read about, but in my experience thus far, most people get saved through relationship and conversation. however, there are many benefits to the open air in my opinion--
1) excellent conversation starter-- we're a bunch of freaks out there
2) the conversation gets right to Jesus because they see what we're about
3) we're worshipping and lifting up the name of YHWH in a place where His name is cursed and false gods are exalted-- we smash them down
4) the Word goes forth. they hear it, it's out there, whether they respond or not
i personally feel it is much easier to stand on a soap box and preach the good news, than to meet someone, invite them to cell, visit them, call them, take them out for coffee, pray for them for months, compel them to have faith and repent, and then bug them for months to make sure they don't backslide. but that seems to me to be what it takes. i'm not a very experienced evangelist i recognize (i've only been seriously at it for 13 months), but this is what i've seen. thoughts on this?
no matter what the method, praise the Lord, 5 people have been saved, and more than that delivered from addiction, and/or plugged into community. the plan is to be responsible for our converts and go by Lieutenant Colonel Rader's theory, "the most important part of an open air meeting is follow up." easier said than done in a neighborhood where the majority of our friends do not have a home or a phone. our hope is that we invite them to one of our cell groups and they come, and if not, we simply pray that we bump into them on the street. any thoughts? we want open air to be effective.
(sasb #something)
Lord for a might revival we plead,
Lord, give us souls;
Thy saving power in this meeting we need,
Lord, give us souls.
Quicken our hearts by the Holy Ghost's power,
Of sin the sinner convict, Lord this hour,
Lord, give us souls.
Let every heart on this object be set,
Lord, give us souls;
Help us to pray till the answer we get,
Lord, give us souls.
Give us the faith that will not let Thee go,
Faith that says, yes, though the devil says, no;
Lord, Thy salvation in this meeting show,
Lord, give us souls.
Lord, we believe Thou are going to save,
Lord, we believe;
Floods of salvation and power we shall have,
Lord, we believe.
Souls shall be truly converted to Thee,
From all the bondage of Satan set free,
Made into soldiers to fight well for Thee,
Lord, we believe.
fight on!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
though your sins be as scarlet
Big Red is a big, red man. never have i heard such an apt nickname. he has a strong, imposing stature and fiery, orange hair with a gnarled beard. i doubt that his parents chose the name Big Red for him at birth, yet, no one calls him anything different. he can be most commonly seen: in theHarbourlight food line, walking down the street carrying giant pieces of driftwood on his shoulders, or at Crab tree park setting up an artistic, perhaps religious display.
my first run-in with Big Red was a bit unnerving. he asked my friend Phil how much i cost. sick. fortunately, Phil is integral, so he shot down any ideas Red had, and we moved on hastily.
i saw him many times on the street ensuingly, and our conversations, though less perverted, were still unfavorable. i'd ask him what he was doing with the prodigious wreath he was carrying, and he'd begin speaking, and though his words and cadence sounded sane, the way he chose to combine the words made no sense to my ears. often interspersed in his rantings were the words "i am," "Jesus," "death," "died," "resurrection," and "look!"
so i tend to avoid Mr. Red. is this wrong? i'm not sure, but he makes me uneasy.
i awoke one morning a few months ago, and looked out my window. across Hastings street i saw something so peculiar that it certainly stood out in the midst of the rain, dirt and graffiti: a cross made of driftwood, covered in strips of crimson cloth, dripping with red paint...or blood...we're still not sure. it looked like a mock crucifix, some kind of pagan art. this was Big Red's masterpiece.
i'm still not sure how to respond to Big Red-- he confuses me, and he makes me uncomfortable, but i'm so interested to try and figure out his mind. in any case, he's a well known character in the Downtown East side, and he is my neighbor. may i love him as i love myself.
go on.
my first run-in with Big Red was a bit unnerving. he asked my friend Phil how much i cost. sick. fortunately, Phil is integral, so he shot down any ideas Red had, and we moved on hastily.
i saw him many times on the street ensuingly, and our conversations, though less perverted, were still unfavorable. i'd ask him what he was doing with the prodigious wreath he was carrying, and he'd begin speaking, and though his words and cadence sounded sane, the way he chose to combine the words made no sense to my ears. often interspersed in his rantings were the words "i am," "Jesus," "death," "died," "resurrection," and "look!"
so i tend to avoid Mr. Red. is this wrong? i'm not sure, but he makes me uneasy.
i awoke one morning a few months ago, and looked out my window. across Hastings street i saw something so peculiar that it certainly stood out in the midst of the rain, dirt and graffiti: a cross made of driftwood, covered in strips of crimson cloth, dripping with red paint...or blood...we're still not sure. it looked like a mock crucifix, some kind of pagan art. this was Big Red's masterpiece.
i'm still not sure how to respond to Big Red-- he confuses me, and he makes me uncomfortable, but i'm so interested to try and figure out his mind. in any case, he's a well known character in the Downtown East side, and he is my neighbor. may i love him as i love myself.
go on.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
does he need a reason why?
today our feature guest is anonymous--
not because i'm not permitted to say his name for some exciting reason, but because i don't know his name. whoops (some evangelist i am!)
what makes this man stand out to me is the nature of his relationship with my dear friend jacynta. every time he sees her, he puts up his fists as though he wants to box her, and she does the same, and then she laughs and they move on.
however, they have never exchanged a word.
how random. how entirely arbitrary. how gloriously inexplicable.
never quit the field.
not because i'm not permitted to say his name for some exciting reason, but because i don't know his name. whoops (some evangelist i am!)
what makes this man stand out to me is the nature of his relationship with my dear friend jacynta. every time he sees her, he puts up his fists as though he wants to box her, and she does the same, and then she laughs and they move on.
however, they have never exchanged a word.
how random. how entirely arbitrary. how gloriously inexplicable.
never quit the field.
Monday, October 09, 2006
shackled by a heavy burden
for the next few posts, i'm going to describe some of the eccentricities of my friends. there are quite a few characters here in my neighborhood, and it's a shame that you all can't meet them-- such interesting stories, such unusual quirks. here goes.
today i'll be featuring a man named "chain man," (no joke, he responds to that). it is quite an apt nickname...he walks around the streets carrying heavy chains draped over his shoulders and neck.
the other night ian and i asked him, "chain man, why do you carry those chains around anyway?" his rather peeved response was, "man, i'm carrying around 125 lbs, i'm doing my nightly security rounds, and you stop me to ask me a stupid question like that? man! i'll tell you when i'm less busy," as he stomped away. apparently he walks around this one block over and over again, because he's guarding it. who knows.
however, chain man only carries these shackles and speaks of his security duties when he is poisoned. when he's clean, he no longer goes by the alias "chain man," but instead reveals his true identity.
i feel the fetters are so symbolic-- he's in captivity. he needs to be emancipated. the first time i saw him without his manacles, i rejoiced, thinking he had been delivered...only to see him later that evening, shackled again.
quite a solitary life he leads. i'd enjoy chatting with him more, but he always brushes me off because he's too focused on doing his night rounds. hm.
people like chain man intrigue me, and fill my life with fascinating moments. i appreciate him. i continue to ask for his liberation. i bump into him as much as possible.
fight on.
p.s. i'm still interested in votes for our book title (see last blog)
today i'll be featuring a man named "chain man," (no joke, he responds to that). it is quite an apt nickname...he walks around the streets carrying heavy chains draped over his shoulders and neck.
the other night ian and i asked him, "chain man, why do you carry those chains around anyway?" his rather peeved response was, "man, i'm carrying around 125 lbs, i'm doing my nightly security rounds, and you stop me to ask me a stupid question like that? man! i'll tell you when i'm less busy," as he stomped away. apparently he walks around this one block over and over again, because he's guarding it. who knows.
however, chain man only carries these shackles and speaks of his security duties when he is poisoned. when he's clean, he no longer goes by the alias "chain man," but instead reveals his true identity.
i feel the fetters are so symbolic-- he's in captivity. he needs to be emancipated. the first time i saw him without his manacles, i rejoiced, thinking he had been delivered...only to see him later that evening, shackled again.
quite a solitary life he leads. i'd enjoy chatting with him more, but he always brushes me off because he's too focused on doing his night rounds. hm.
people like chain man intrigue me, and fill my life with fascinating moments. i appreciate him. i continue to ask for his liberation. i bump into him as much as possible.
fight on.
p.s. i'm still interested in votes for our book title (see last blog)
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Vision: the blog, the book, the breaking news
welcome.
here begins my life as a citizen of blogosphere.
i'm hoping to fill this space with anecdotes of my adventures in the ghetto with Jesus. there are many to tell, i'm sure of it, and i look forward to having a little fun, maybe getting a bit deep here and there.
breaking news: captain, my captain Court and myself have officially begun the process of co-writing a book. the creative juices are flowing. the theme is holiness, the target audience is youth, and the framework is "the Vision" by Pete Greig.
you can check it out at: http://www.fpco.org/print/580.asp
chapter themes looking to be-- social justice/the fat spirit, integrity/motive, love, humility, covenant, fasted lifestyle, intimacy with Jesus, and Holy Spirit power.
we're still looking to decide on a title for this undertaking.
we've narrowed it down to:
Eyesore: holiness that hurts the eyes
Sound of the Underground
The Solution (as in "holiness is the solution to every problem")
and Losers, Weirdoes, and Freaks
many of these are allusions to the Vision itself--
so, you should read it first, and then you should comment on this blog and let me know your vote. any opinion?
fight on.
here begins my life as a citizen of blogosphere.
i'm hoping to fill this space with anecdotes of my adventures in the ghetto with Jesus. there are many to tell, i'm sure of it, and i look forward to having a little fun, maybe getting a bit deep here and there.
breaking news: captain, my captain Court and myself have officially begun the process of co-writing a book. the creative juices are flowing. the theme is holiness, the target audience is youth, and the framework is "the Vision" by Pete Greig.
you can check it out at: http://www.fpco.org/print/580.asp
chapter themes looking to be-- social justice/the fat spirit, integrity/motive, love, humility, covenant, fasted lifestyle, intimacy with Jesus, and Holy Spirit power.
we're still looking to decide on a title for this undertaking.
we've narrowed it down to:
Eyesore: holiness that hurts the eyes
Sound of the Underground
The Solution (as in "holiness is the solution to every problem")
and Losers, Weirdoes, and Freaks
many of these are allusions to the Vision itself--
so, you should read it first, and then you should comment on this blog and let me know your vote. any opinion?
fight on.
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