hosanna.

sometimes i wonder if we are an exiled people.

throughout history, the Hebrew people went in and out of exile.
they knew that a Messiah was coming, but they didn't know what they were looking for. they knew that they needed to follow God's commands from the past, but they weren't sure what He was saying in those days. God seemed silent.

we, the people of God, are spread all around, knowing something of what is to come-- Christ's return.
many of us are unsure of what to do right now-- and feeling directionless. we want to hear from Him, and we're all kept waiting, wondering what's going to happen next.

however, throughout history, the Lord has used exile to do some miraculous things.
for example:

*de-centralized worship (people began to build synagogues all over-- they no longer believed that the Lord was only present at Zion).

*the writing of the Torah in the lingua franca-- Aramaic

*the Hebrew people began to notice that God was elsewhere in the world, and in fact began witnessing! "God-fearers" came to know Yahweh, and pagan cultures were "evangelized" to monotheism, as a result of the exile. this prepared the way for the gospel of Christ among the nations.

*when the Israelites were gathered together again, only those who were devoted returned-- exile cleansed the people of the idolaters.

what is the Lord going to do in our time of exile?
purge us of idolatry? spread us around the world, bringing the truth with us? something new and beautiful that we have yet to understand?
i long for His return, i long for Him to gather us together, but i KNOW His timing is perfect.

hello, again

okay okay okay.

if i ever again neglect blogging for an extended period of time, y'all have my permission to bug me about it.

if i knew that there was a certain spot in my city where i could stand, at a certain time of day, and everyone would stop and listen-- it would irresponsible of me to not show up to that spot, at that time, and preach the gospel.
likewise, people read blogs. we should make the most of this opportunity.
so i'm going to try and jump back on the bandwagon, we'll see how this goes.

i'm considering starting a series, that may one day turn into a book, called something like, "What must i do to be saved?"
my writings on holiness have all been clear and steady.
my writings on salvation are more likely to be a struggle, because i have so many diverse, half-baked thoughts on this far-reaching theme.

it will include topics such as:
repentance
grace
faith
predestination
works
judgement
hell/heaven
the end of the world
fear of the Lord
character of the Lord
evangelism
free will

you can expect me to launch off into these themes in my next few entries.

i'll leave you with that for now, and also with this--
stay close to Jesus.

Christ

"You are the God of the broken,
the Friend of the weak.
You wash the feet of the weary,
embrace the one in need.

i want to be like You, Jesus,
to have this heart in me.
You are the God of the humble,
You are the Humble King."

He yokes Himself to the suffering, and suffers along with them.

when i yoke myself to the suffering, i meet Him there.
and it is the most intimate place to be.

Calmenianism

"The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved.
Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness."
2 Thessalonians 2:9-12

"Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God's purpose in election might stand: not by works but by him who calls—she was told, "The older will serve the younger." Just as it is written: "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."

What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' " Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?"
Romans 9:11-24

in my own reason, Wesleyan-Armenianism makes sense. when i think about what i understand about who God is, and how things work, the only conclusion i come to is-- God wants everyone to be saved, and it's up to our free will to choose Him or to choose to run away from Him.
my assumptions about God lead me to think that predestination is bogus.

and then i read the Bible-- and all my understanding is shattered!
logic tells me that God calls everyone, and it's up to us whether we are saved.
but the Bible, not my logic, appears to be telling me that God creates some people for destruction, and even sends deception to people, so that they will be condemned.

it still doesn't totally jive with my logic,
but what is logic compared to the WORDS OF GOD?

humble me, God.

happy birthday 2 darren hailes,dave laboss,melissa wight,dan white,jeremy strain,nate irvine,jessica bryant,janet munn

in cell this week we read Deuteronomy 11. good stuff.
part of the chapter was talking about "remember the miraculous deeds of the Lord," specifically His might in delivering His people from Egypt.

we were asked the question, "what miraculous deeds has the Lord done in your life?"

people were mentioning being delivered from addiction (that was the most recurring), fast recovery from injury, and the like.
as i tried to reflect on the most obviously Divine miracle in my life what i came to was--
the restoration of my relationship with my mother.

i briefly explained how we were broken apart for a few years, but how He has TOTALLY turned our hearts back towards each other, closer than ever before.
in my recollection, that's the most miraculous thing in my life.
:o)
what a miracle. He has always been good to us.

this will tie in later on.

after a kickin time of worship last night, a gang of us crammed into the van and got pizza. as we drove, we did "drive by blessings."
we'd roll down the windows and yell blessings or prayers or encouragement to passers by. we were ESPECIALLY cool because of our aviator "csm" sunglasses, and our trip hop music.

sounds quirky, but the Lord TOTALLY used it, even in a way visible to us.

first we saw a lady shivering and coughing under a blanket right outside of the Salvation Army Grace Mansion. Nicole was working there that night, and she was outside talking to her, trying to help her out.
so we pulled up, and got her to come into our car. her name is Joleen. we hooked her up with some chamomile tea, clean dry shoes and a scarf, and drove her to a newly discovered women's shelter.
as we sat in the (sauna) car, waiting for the shelter to open, we talked with her about her life.
she told us that she moved to BC with her mother.
i asked her if they were still close.
she said they used to be, but now they refuse to speak.
interesting timing, as i've been reflecting on the restoration in that area of my life. so we prayed for reconciliation, for healing, and for truth.
i pray that she experienced the love of Christ.

then we drove by some of Dan's teens at a party.
we're so proud of them-- because they were the only ones not drinking! :o) yay!
so we kidnapped 2 of them and took them to 7-11 to get slurpees.
mm.

what miraculous deeds has the Lord done in your life?
remember.

uh, i dunno.

"what must i do to be saved?" the rich young ruler asked Jesus.

hm.

how would you respond if you were faced with this question?

to be honest, i'm terrified of God. i'm just so aware of my own depravity, and of His perfection, that i can barely even stand in His presence. when i get a shadow of a glimpse behind the curtain, the weight of His glory pushes me to the ground. i am justly exposed to the wrath of God--

and so i'm working out my salvation with fear and trembling.

i've been taking a bit of an informal survey, asking believers around me, "what is required of us for salvation?"

what i'm picking up is that a big percentage of the Church doesn't know the gospel.
we are barely even able to explain what we believe about grace, faith, repentance, works, hell, heaven, judgement, Jesus...
these things are key. and i'd like to know the truth.

wanna know my opinion? :o)
i think ("think" being a key word-- like i said, i'm working this through) that maybe (another key word) we've been wrong for generations and generations.
only in the past few months have i been trying to read the Bible without twisting it to match my own opinions.
and as i read it, i find a lot of things that contradict, or are held in paradoxical tension with, Church traditions.
i wonder if what we preach-- "just believe in Jesus, and accept Him as Saviour"--might not be enough.

where is repentance involved?

what about predestination? Romans 9 would seem to infer that God chooses who He will have mercy on and who He will harden, and we shouldn't dare to question His choices.

what about those verses that tell us that we will be judged on our deeds?

"Look, i am coming soon! my reward is with Me, and i will give to everyone according to what they have done." Revelation 22:12
"And i saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throng, and books were opened. another book was opened, which is the book of life. the dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books." Revelation 20:12

and then there's Matthew 25. Jesus divides the sheep (the saved) from the goats (the unsaved) based on whether or not they gave water to the thirsty, invited in the stranger, gave clothes to the naked, and visited the sick and in prison.

i REALLY want to be saved from punishment and hell.
i also REALLY want everyone else to be-- so i need to make sure that what i'm preaching to them is the truth. i don't want to be held accountable for telling someone that they're saved, when in reality, they aren't.

what must i do to be saved?
He has shown us the grace, He has ransomed us, now what is OUR part?
what do YOU think?

can anything good come from Nazareth?

Zephaniah 3

Judgment on Jerusalem and the Nations

"1 Woe to her who is rebellious and defiled,
the oppressing city!
2 She listens to no voice;
she accepts no correction.
She does not trust in the LORD;
she does not draw near to her God.
3 Her officials within her
are roaring lions;
her judges are evening wolves
that leave nothing till the morning.
4 Her prophets are fickle, treacherous men;(G) her priests profane what is holy; they do violence to the law.
5The LORD within her is righteous;
he does no injustice;
every morning he shows forth his justice;
each dawn he does not fail;
but the unjust knows no shame."

hm. Zephaniah describes Jerusalem, a rebellious and defiled city.
i think i live in a rebellious and defiled, and oppressing city too.

"5 But the Lord is still there in the city,
and he does no wrong."
"5 Yet God remains righteous in her midst,
untouched by the evil.
He stays at it, day after day, meting out justice.
At evening he's still at it, strong as ever."

in the midst of the city, the Lord is good. He's the Treasure buried in a field. He's the Rose amongst thorns. and He is still here...even here.

stream of consciousness

my heart desires to blog everyday...but my living arrangement and time schedule doesnt allow for it.
update: i just moved into the Empress hotel. wahoo!
i honestly think this is my favorite place i have ever lived. downtown, slum hotel, sweet view, purple walls, black and white tile floor, beautiful roommates, opportunities everywhere. plus, the landlords dont want to spend the money to run the elevator (its not broken), so we walk up the stairs every day. soon well be cut like cougars. at least were not on the 7th floor.
the war college students arrived this weekend. sweetness. theyre a small but focused session. last night they were homeless, and this morning they were cheery and devoted as they prayed the Psalms for 30 minutes, even though they were running on little to no sleep. hardcore. they are called the Incendiary session.

okay, now that im in the Empress i have limited internet access. plus the Carnegie community centre is on strike, so i cant use that internet. right now im at Radio Station Cafe, on the corner of Hastings and Colombia.
this place is fabulous-- run by believers. not only do they only sell fair trade coffee-- they sell DIRECT trade coffee. they deal directly with the coffee farmers, not with the fair trade company.

anyway,
the book of Matthew. im lovin it. im chewin it up like its a Reeses...only much more substantial and nutritional. okay, its bread, but the Reeses thing sounded more appealing to me.

i love to read Jesus speak on the end times. its so much clearer then Revelation. some stuff He hides in parables, but some stuff He puts right out there-- like the fact that we will be massively persecuted and hated for His sake.
and that we will only be saved if we hold firm until the end-- though the love of many will grow cold.
and He will come when we dont expect it.
and He will judge us according to our deeds.
now, im not trying to preach that we are saved by works...im just talking about how Jesus divides the sheep and the goats-- the sheep are the ones who fed the hungry, gave water to the thirsty, invited the stranger in, and visited the sick and imprisoned. and the goats are the ones who didnt do those things.
He said it, not me.

okay but check this out--
*While Jesus was in Bethany in thehome of Simon the Leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on His head as he was reclining at the table.
when the disciples saw this, they were indignant. *why this waste? this perfume could have been old at a high price and the money given to the poor.*
aware of this (of course. o.m.) Jesus said to them, *why are you bothering this woman? she has done a beautiful thing to me. the poor you wil always have with you, but you will not always have Me. when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare me for burial. truly i tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.*
Matthew 26:6-13

heres what i gather:
when Jesus says,*the poor you will always have with you,* He is not telling us to therefore neglect them. He is quoting Deuteronomy 15:11 which says-- *There will always be poor people in the land. therefore I command you to be openhanded toward those of your people who are poor and needy in your land.*
but He IS telling us to get our priorities straight.
you see, money, or expensive perfume, isnt really the issue for me. the issue is time.
sometimes when im worshipping the Lord i feel like i should leave my room and go out and be on the streets amongst the poor. but He then reminds me- the poor will ALWAYS be there. if you stay with Me for another hour and go out, theyll still be sitting on the same corner. do not neglect doing a beautiful, even extravagent and wasteful thing for Me.

the one thing i want is to be in His presence, gazing upon His beauty. and after that, its the poor.

another revelation:
before Peter denies Jesus 3 times, it says that he *followed Jesus at a distance.*
Christianity is really a call to a lifetime of following Jesus.
lets not follow Him at a distance, rather walk closely beside Him. if we do well probably get killed alongside Him.

peace.

check it out.

if you haven't yet, go to:

warroom614.blogspot.com

in our 24-7 prayer room here in Vancouver, for the past 3(?) years we have had a notebook called the "What are we hearing?" book. we've gone through quite a few, and it's a treasure to read through WAWH books from back in the day.
you see-- the War Room is a place where people regularly hear the voice of God. this book is a way of keeping track of what God is saying to us, and seeing how it aligns with what the rest of our Body is hearing.

and now, we're going digital (woo we're so with the times.)

one benefit of this is that all you people who don't have the blessing of joining us in the War Room, now can read what we are hearing, and receive from what we are receiving.

so read it. my guess is that it will be updated multiple times every day, since someone is always in the room praying, and the Lord is consistently speaking.

believe me

for those of you interested in my life-- i have just been diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia. but thanks to fabulous Canadian socialized health care, i got free antibiotics so i should be up and running shortly.

for those of you interested in my thoughts-- faith. it's all i can think about these days. i've had a few revelations:

firstly, we are saved by grace through faith. now, as one who preaches works more than grace, i regularly have to remind myself of this. we are not saved by our deeds, we are only saved by the grace of God. through our faith. but here's the kicker-- faith without works is dead.
if we truly have faith in the resurrection of Christ, if we truly have faith in the reality of an Almighty God, if we truly have faith in the judgement that is to come-- then our entire lives will be taken over by these beliefs.
it is impossible to believe in hell and not preach the gospel. it is impossible to believe that Jesus is Lord and not follow His commands. our beliefs determine our actions-- and if they don't, they aren't genuine beliefs. we are saved by grace through real faith.

now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). it is choosing to believe in what we cannot see. a wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign (Matthew 12:39, Matthew 16:3-5, Luke 11:29). i regularly hear of people asking for a sign from God before they believe-- "God, if You're out there, show Yourself to me." i often find that people don't do anything until they have some supernatural encounter that spurs them into faith-filled living. that's believing WITH seeing, but it's not faith.
faith is praying for a miracle even when you see no results. faith is believing in a Messiah Whom we have not met face to Face. faith is choosing to cling to Him, even in the dry seasons when He seems invisible, even if we're going to be killed for believing in Him.
faith is crazy. it's absolutely ridiculous to throw your life into this great movement without having proof that it's worth it. but i KNOW it is.

and lastly, faith is continuous. i am more certain then ever that it is possible to lose salvation, because of this-- faith only counts if we hold onto it until the end. it's possible to stray away from faith, to slowly let doubt creep in until you only believe what is clearly before you. i believe that continuance in a state of salvation depends upon continued obedient faith in Christ. it's continued, and it's obedient. there's no other kind of faith.

pray for me, please. i have been attacked with doubt a few times in the past 2 years, but the more i learn about faith, the more set in it i become. i will NEVER leave Him, even if i cannot prove Him.
please also pray for my health. i've taken some time off of work, because the majority of guys in my shelter have HIV, and if they catch pneumonia, they could die. but i hate not being able to be out, so i'm believing for quick healing! hallelujah. thank you Lord for antibiotics.

i feel like i am always living
on the verge of uncompromising devotion.

does anyone else feel this way?

take me beyond the threshold.

ghetto FABULOUS

ahh...it's good to be back in Vancouver, and it's good to be back in blogosphere.
it's been quite a week in Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
we prayed, preached, prophesied, partied...it was my "best life ever."

re-entry, as usual, was jarring.
though i have lived in the Downtown East side for 2 years now (wow!) i still feel shocked every time i return to it.

i slept all day on planes, on buses and in airports, due to the all-nighter i pulled my last night in Maine (bad idea-- mom, dad, i will listen to your advice forever!)
as a result, i arrived in the DTES feeling like a drug-addict who needed some up (and probably looking like one too). how very incarnational of me.

as we pulled up to my apartment the first thing we notice is a firetruck parked right outside my door! the next thing we notice is an ambulance appearing and multiple paramedics rushing into my door, up the stairs.
we follow them up the stairs, lugging our under 50 lbs. suitcases behind us.
it turns out that one of my house-mates was having a bad reaction to some Tylenol-3s he had taken previously. nothing serious, but still quite a jolting, dramatic entrance back into our household. welcome home.

then i sat on a couch and chatted with my family here about my time in Maine. after sitting for a few minutes i realized that i was scratching my ankles furiously. these were no left-over mosquito bites from Maine. nor was this the irritating sensation of peeling, sunburned skin. no-- these were something else i'm equally familiar with-- bedbug bites. i'm back for less than one hour and i've already met 10 paramedics and been assaulted by a pestilence. welcome home.

i indulged myself with a (much needed) bath...in the dark because our bathroom light isn't working. i went to bed early and awoke early (i love jet lag) only to lay in bed and listen to the hullabaloo in the alley beneath my window. it's good to be back.

as i walked down the street yesterday i felt like it was dirtier then ever before. i figured that it was just the culture shock of leaving and returning-- but then someone informed me that the garbage workers have all gone on strike for the past 4 weeks. this means that dumpsters are overflowing, alleys are teeming, and the sidewalks are beginning to remind me of Nigeria. piles and piles of garbage everywhere and anywhere. this has also resulted in a new discovery of a RAT in our house. i've come to terms with cockroaches and mice, but rats!? oh man, we'd better get rid of that union... ;o)
it's a lovely reality to return home to.

i have never been anywhere quite like the DTES. it's horrible, and i have many reasons why i should hate it here-- but it seems to have this strange sucking power. i suppose that's the call of God on my life. if you could separate my life from the Divine, then my love for this neighborhood is inexplicable. He's given me a love for the DTES that is real-- it's not a "i SHOULD love the poor, so i'll be good to them." it's a genuine love that even overflows into smiling as i drive down Hastings street (the view from a car window is an angle i'm not used to).

i'm in love with this place, even though i'm sure that i don't "belong" here. i don't belong anywhere really...i'm a citizen of heaven, but the DTES is treating me well as a home-away-from-home while i'm still alive.

whenever i go away from this place, i breathe a sigh of relief, and begin to think how sweet it could be to move away. but whenever i return i feel giddy and lovesick and wonder what is going on with my heart.

"time alone with Jesus"

i could be off blogging for the next 10 days-- i'm going to Old Orchard Beach camp meetings to do prophetic prayer and evangelism at the pier.
sweet.
there's going to be 5 generals there. hey-yo!
and there's going to be french fries and sunshine and boogie boards and ice cream and friends and pizza and waves and and sand and fried dough and stars and family. i'm stoked.

before i go, allow me to share what God's teaching me:

i'm learning to HIDE myself in Christ.
my good friend Beracah had a vision this morning, of Jesus on the floor. she was desiring to get up and prophecy and cry and preach-- but He was calling her to lay face down on the floor, where He was. she was thinking, "what about the people!?" but He was drawing her to Himself, before them.
He's recently been calling me away from trying to change the Downtown East side, and away from trying to revolutionize the Salvation Army, and away from trying to influence everyone in 614...He's calling me to His presence.
world salvation and Church awakening is still pressing heavy on my heart-- but for this season: i'm in training. He's leading me away from "the people" and to Himself.

like Moses and the burning bush (taken from one of Stephen and Danielle's teachings)-- it wasn't about Moses, it was about the people.
and it wasn't about Moses, it was about the Lord.
it's not about me-- it's about Him.
it's a temptation for me to even make ministry a selfish thing: i want to effect things, i want to change the world: but often my motivation is for my own glory, not for the Lord's glory, or the people's salvation.

thus, i'm hiding myself. i want to be invisible, i want to hide under His shadow, i want to lift HIM up, and i want do dwell in the SECRET place with Him. hidden in secrecy in His presence, not just talking about His presence in the sight of others. i want to have something so special and secret with Him, that no one else will be able to understand it. a private little world, alone with Christ.

i want to be alone with Him wherever i am, for the rest of my life. no one else.

Schmunday

a young native man, wearing a crucifix around his neck, approaches me. before he introduces himself, or asks my name, he says,
"what church do you go to?"

oh, such a difficult question to answer. Sunday morning? i sleep in. i align myself with the train of thought that we ARE the Church. our lives should be so taken over by Christ and His Body that we don't need to go to church, because we are constantly surrounded by it.
still, i recognize that to answer this boy in the negative would be a bit misleading.
"um...i don't really go to a church on a Sunday morning...but i'm involved with the Salvation Army."

"you should come to my church! (nodding and smiling and thinking-- no thanks.) you'd fall in love with it. they have real Tim Horton's coffee every week, and free cappuccinos!
and you know the band The Police? they did a concert at our church once! we've also had Evanescence and even Petra. i KNOW that if you came you'd LOVE it."

verily i appreciate the fact that this fellow was making an effort to evangelize. or was it evangelism? is inviting someone to come with you to your meeting considered preaching the good news? or is it just inviting them to come hear someone else preach the good news potentially, but perhaps a message that means nothing to them?
anyway, i do value the offer, and recognize that it takes some boldness.

his technique, however, i do question. didn't work for me.

coffee and cappuccinos-- i could get at a thousand other places in this city.
music-- i could go to a club. go to a concert. listen to the radio.
those were the things that he used to draw me-- and while i recognize the value of making Church enjoyable, all i could think about was how he wasn't offering me anything unique. he wasn't offering me something that could be found only within the Church.

now, i admit that i appropriate the same strategy. two things that i regularly use to persuade people to come to my cells are food and family. i say, "i'm cooking dinner, it's really low key, lots of great people, community, a place to share, etc." so you see, i'm not trying to criticize this man, i'm simply questioning the entire method.

firstly, it doesn't work the majority of the time(sinners vote with their feet-- they don't like church).
secondly, it's deceptive. i have an agenda. i'm only giving them coffee and company so that they'll run into Jesus.

i don't want to invite people to a church meeting (that is, if i was part of one).
i want to invite people to be reconciled with the God Whom they formerly thought was unknowable.

so, if i was going to say "yes" to some one's offer to go to church, they'd have to be inviting me to go to something that was so exciting, and so distinct that i knew i wouldn't experience it anywhere but the church.

what are some things that the church has to offer that the world can't?
-- meaning and purpose in life to the dry.
-- authentic community to the lonely.
-- freedom from addictions, fears, and sins to the frustrated.
-- healing for the sick and wounded.
-- friendship with the Divine for the seeking.
-- perhaps food, shelter, medical care, justice, water, and education to the poor.

even with all of these attractive offers, people are not coming into our churches at a very impressive rate.

maybe that's because we're not encountering these things. maybe we're only experiencing the same as what the rest of the world is experiencing.

or maybe it's because they don't know that it's happening, because no one has told them.

whatever the cause, the effect is that people are not drawn to the Church.

if the Church doesn't attract people to come to Her, then i suggest that we go out and introduce Ourself. and then introduce Him.

the battle belongs to the Lord.

urbandictionary has no clue

My name was invented by Shakespeare, apparently. Shakespeare's Olivia, in The Twelfth Night, is a bit of a weirdo. However, I still consider it an honor to be named by one of the greats.

It comes from the word OLIVE.
I've previously taken this to mean "olive branch"-- a symbol of peace.

But here are some new thoughts about this name:

What happens to an olive when it is crushed? Oil.
Hallelujah, I'm telling you, God is crushing me.
Being crushed is a good thing.

As I was recently reminded in a prayer meeting:
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit."
(Psalm 34:18)

So what if you're not crushed?
Align yourself with those who are.
Share in their brokenness,
become broken,
and the Lord will be near you.


"Come, let us return to the LORD.
For He has torn us,
but He will heal us;
He has wounded us,
but He will bandage us.

So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD.
His going forth is as certain as the dawn,
And He will come to us like the rain,
Like the spring rain watering the earth."

(Hosea 6)

where He leads me

"but whatever was to my profit i now consider loss for the sake of Christ. what is more, i consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake i have lost all things. i consider them rubbish, that i may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. i want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3.

"relationship experts" suggest that on a first date, a couple should go on an adventure together. a paint ball fight, a roller coaster ride, whatever-- it's preferable to going to a movie, or sitting and talking.
this is because we are bound to someone when we share experiences with them, not when we simply talk about what we experience when we are apart.

i want to know Christ.

to become intimate with Him will take more then just spending time with Him, telling Him about my life, asking Him for help, and even listening to His voice.
i need to experience life with Him.

happily for me, He's asked me to come follow Him, and share in His life.

when i follow Jesus, where does it lead me?-- to the cross...and to resurrection.

i'm not pursuing suffering, i'm pursuing Jesus.
but when i pursue Him, suffering is where i inevitably end up-- because it is where He is. and this is wonderful. sharing in the sufferings of Christ is one of the most binding parts of our relationship. i love it, because it brings me closer to Christ-- beautiful Christ, the only One i want.

what did Jesus suffer?

He suffered physical torture.
i have yet to experience this-- unless fasting counts :o)

He suffered grief over His people.
"o Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"
Luke 13:39
"when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled."
Luke 11:33

so part of sharing in the sufferings of Christ includes sharing in others sufferings. taking on their sorrows as our own.

any other ways that He suffered?

i want to suffer-- because i want to be with Christ where He is-- wherever He is.

humility bulletin

Jesus was the perfect picture of humility.

He is the King of the Universe, as high and as powerful and One could be.
and yet He lowered Himself to be as low and broken as One could be.

i am just a girl, made of dust, and my life is going to be over in the blink of an eye.
and yet i find it hard to lower myself in the least.

He is so beautiful. and i want to look like Him so badly.
___________________________________________________________________

do you believe in soul mates? do you think that God has one person picked out for each of us, or does He give us options?
___________________________________________________________________

Numbers is a KICKIN book. oh man, i've been stunned by it.

Moses was the most humble man in all of the earth. wow.
and he spoke with the Lord face to face, unlike other prophets who saw in visions and dreams. i wonder if it's a coincidence that he was amazingly humble, and that he had real fellowship with God.

Numbers also includes many examples of intercession.

--in chapter 11 the Lord sends His fire and burns the Israelites on the outskirts of the camp, because they were complaining. the people cry out to Moses, and Moses cries out to the Lord, and He stopped.

--in chapter 12 Miriam gets leprosy because she and Aaron were talking against Moses. Aaron begs Moses to not hold their sins against them, Moses cries out to the Lord to heal her, and He did (though she was confined for 7 days)

--in chapter 14 the Lord is planning on wiping out all of the Israelites, besides Moses, but Moses prays and the Lord holds back His anger and instead punishes them by holding them in the desert for 40 years till that generation dies out.

--in chapter 16, Korah and his friends rebel, and are swallowed up by the earth! if Moses hadn't fallen face down and begged God to spare the community, it would have been the whole community, not just Korah's family.

--and, best of all-- the Lord sends a plague on all of the Israelites. He wipes out 14,700 of them, and only stops there because Aaron runs with a censor and stands between the living and the dead to make an atonement for the community.

WOW. their humble cries were HEARD by God, and affected so much.
___________________________________________________________________

i was shattered on Thursday.

i think it's because of all of my reflections on humility. i've been asking God to humble me, and He is. eek.

it was also a public humbling. great. He's stripping away my foundation and showing the world my blemishes. i am needy, i am absolutely broken.
i think brokenness is simply recognizing the fact that we ARE broken.

i want to be like Jesus, and i want to be like Moses-- humble.

the spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.

good news!

the government just purchased the "Drake" hotel and strip club from the Hell's Angels.
this racy joint is on Princess and Powell-- smack dab in the middle of where all the girls are being prostituted.
we NiteLite girls, for the past two years, have been walking around that neighborhood a few hours every week. and every time we walk past the Drake, we pray that it will shut down. a few girl have gone INTO the club to order pops and pray, and were basically traumatized by all that they saw.

not ONLY is the strip club shut down, the entire building is being turned into affordable housing for the homeless! justice and mercy. hallelujah.
that's an example of winning plunder from the enemy after a victory.

of course, there is a concern in my head that the Hell's Angels now have $3.2 million on hand. maybe they'll donate it to the Salvation Army.

next target: the No. 5 Orange. this is another strip club owned by the Hell's Angels, just 4 blocks away from the Drake-- my next door neighbors. we've been praying that this place would shut down for just as long.
on our same block there is a Christian ministry called "Jacob's Well." they do dinners, Bible Studies, all kinds of things. they prophesied that the whole block would be owned by believers. when we moved in they were overjoyed, and it pumped up their faith a bit. they also prophesied that the No. 5 Orange would be a church. we've had similar pictures, during prayer, of the light bursting forth from the inside.

please pray for the women in my neighborhood.

speaking of all that good news:
how do we spread the good news?

what IS evangelism?

most of my life, i was taught that evangelism is this: you make friends with nonbelievers, and after a few years of hanging out with them, they'll ask you why you're so happy all the time.
okay, so i'm sure this works sometimes, but it certainly doesn't seem very proactive.
first of all, it's difficult to make friends with nonbelievers for the sole purpose of getting them saved, because you have an agenda. you hang out with them, but your motive is more than friendship, and they can tell.
secondly, this "sit back and be Christian" method of evangelism takes WAY too long! people die all the time, Jesus is returning soon, we've got no time to waste. if we all went out and made friend with a bunch of sinners today, most of them wouldn't be saved for years to come.

so i say, if you're already friends with nonbelievers, try and get them saved. relationship evangelism is not invalid.

HOWEVER-- since there is no fellowship with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14), and since Jesus is returning soon, perhaps we should focus our evangelism energy elsewhere.
do we undervalue cold-call evangelism?
what about asking someone if they want to be saved when you first meet them? or what about preaching on the streets?

evangelism is something that i have been struggling through for a couple years, and i've still only seen minimal fruit. what's it going to take?
the power of the Holy Spirit.

promoted.

sad news from the Downtown East side:

there's an elderly native man who lives at Pigeon Park-- the sketchy corner where 614 does its open air meetings. his name is Rusty. he's got long stick straight hair, and he's constantly hunched over. he lives on one bench on the left side of the water fountain, and i've almost never seen him anywhere else.

last year, during a Holy session open air meeting, Rusty got saved. he sat, leaned up against the djembwe drum for the whole meeting, and at the end he requested Amazing Grace. he got up and started dancing, waving his arms around and weeping.

he never made it to our cell groups, and he never got a home off the streets. but Rusty was a believer, and there is no doubting that-- his church was our open air meeting. every week he joined us, and sang along, and requested Amazing Grace. he was full of love-- he gave out hugs liberally, he listened to our gospel shots, and his face was always lit up by the light of Christ.

Rusty was murdered last week, for no fault of his own. sometimes, down here, when someone is stabbed to death, everyone assumes it's because they didn't pay their drug dealer, or they stole some dope. but as for Rusty, everyone knows that's not the case. he was beaten, and his head was smashed into the pavement, by some angry man he didn't know.

obviously, i don't know the specifics of what was going through the enraged man's head, but whatever it was, he clearly did not think that Rusty's life was valuable enough to protect. Rusty was homeless, crippled, poor, previously a drunkard. i believe that somewhere in society's subconscious, we equate those things to equal worthless.

but it's not true. Rusty was a gem. a beautiful man, radiantly in love with His Saviour. he looked like Jesus-- he was humble, gentle, caring, zealous. he was the reason Christ came into the world.

i've been mourning about this deeply. but then, the Lord has used the tragedy to reveal to me something quite valuable: we're down here for a reason. i often feel like we fight hard, and press in, and sow and sow and sow...and we see so little fruit. but Rusty is some of our fruit. some of our fruit that remained to the very end. the Body of Christ has saved a man. we should be encouraged, and exhorted-- our fight is important.

and i know that now Rusty is more radiant then ever-- experiencing a healthy body, living in a mansion, and thriving in constant face to face encounters with the King.

hallelujah. promoted from Pigeon Park to Paradise.

always full, always hungry

i have returned, safe and sound and full of love, from my journey.
3 weeks: London (Ontario), Toronto, New York, Hershey (Pennsylvania). people keep asking me, "how was your trip?" well the answer is: it was so many things. highs, lows, joys, sorrows, you know. blessed times, overall, i could blog on all that happened, but it would take too much time. sorry.

so, instead, i'll blog on my thoughts these days. two things:

1.) i am so THIRSTY for more of Jesus. yet, i know Him more deeply than ever. my experience is that the deeper i go with Christ, the deeper i need to go. back when i was stuck in sin, rebelling against God, and never talking or listening to Him, i didn't feel a compelling desire to know Him. i was empty, but i didn't hunger as intensely as i do now.
now that i commune with Him constantly, now that i hear His voice, now that nothing is blocking our relationship, i feel SO hungry for more! the more i drink of the Spirit, the thirstier i get; the more i eat of the Bread of Life, the hungrier i get. and i LOVE IT! my hunger for Him is His gift to me.

2.) i often hear of weary believers who "burn out" because they minister so much. missionaries, officers, war college students, you name it.
but i have to say: i don't think we ever have to come to a place of burnout. this is from experience, and Scripture (and reason of course, that's what i've already outlined) (and tradition!-- think of the saints before us who were persecuted, who continued to fight everyday until they were promoted to glory. their life was not an easy one, but even THEY never burnt out).

experience:
when i am operating in my gifts, among the poor and the lost, i feel absolutely ENERGIZED. i love it! it doesn't drain me, it pumps me up. i am co-operating with Jesus, following Him wherever He goes, and every moment of it is communing with Him. i feel drained when i have to deal with believers who are apathetic, but i don't feel drained when i am fighting.
of course: i understand physical fatigue. oh, do i ever understand it. i recognize that is completely valid, and we need to rest.
i also recognize that we can't be loving people if we are not abiding in Christ. we can't give out oil and wine that we don't have. if we are not continually and constantly drawing from our Wellspring of life, the Source, then we'll be dry, and literally have nothing left to give.

Scripture:
"They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion."
(Psalm 84:7)

"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
(Isaiah 40:28-31)

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
(Hebrews 12:1-3)

"Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."
(John 5:17)

so there you have it.
fight on.

holiness heathen

i had a chat about holiness theology with an unbelieving man i work with.

it should be mentioned: he believes in "the divine," and he is sure that there is a supernatural, spiritual realm. he's just not a Christ follower. he's also a very smart man, and he knows a lot about philosophy and psychology.

it began because i was talking about my class (Extreme Holiness) in The War College. i was sharing how many of the students don't agree with my thoughts, and how it's a fairly controversial subject.
he asked me what was so disputatious about the whole thing.
i was reticent to explain it to him, because i figured that theological argot would not be beneficial to a nonbeliever. so i began to define the controversy, and we ended up talking about nothing but holiness for the next 2 hours. (i'm getting paid for this! haha!)

shocking:

he agrees with my theology more than most Christians i have spoken to!

i narrowed it down to two polemics:
1.) it is possible to live a holy life, not just be forgiven and continue to sin.
2.) it is possible to receive holiness in a single moment, and grow from there-- it's not a point that we need to strive for our whole lives, and never reach.

i am stunned that he agreed with me.
i am especially stunned because most believers i meet do not agree.

point #1
he told me that his big objection to Christianity is the fact that so many Christians accept forgiveness and continue to sin.
ME TOO! it seems that our belief in grace affects us so that we think we'll always sin, and that's why we have Jesus. sounds like cheap grace to me. both my co-worker and i think that there HAS to be a change of heart and action, or else the mercy of God is thrown away.

point #2
he's seen it quite a few massive transformations in his friends lives, because he is involved with NA. he says that it almost always happens overnight. surely, people grow and change gradually, but when God does a miracle in a person, it can happen in a single moment. he said that to say it would take our whole lives to "reach Christlikeness" would be to limit God.
I AGREE! our journey of holiness is not an asymptote. forgive the math-headed-ness. but listen to this:

an asymptote is a curved line approaching a straight line (in this example, the y-axis and the x-axis) and getting closer and closer to intersecting, but never touching. for infinity the fraction of space between the curved line and the straight line will get smaller and smaller, but but it will never disappear.

this seems to be the prevailing thought in the Church about holiness. we think that for our whole lives we will become more and more like Christ, but we'll never be Christlike. that's the problem with thinking of holiness as a point to be reached-- we think we'll never reach it, or we get caught up in legalism and striving by trying to touch that line.
both my co-worker and i think that this "blessing of a clean heart" must be viewed as a gift and a journey, but not a destination. make sense?

the discussion turned toward faith and salvation. hallelujah. keep praying for this guy, if you think of it. actually, pray for both of my co-workers-- each of them are close to repenting. the other guy i work with prayed with me the other day. he prayed, "God, if You're real, show Yourself to me." i'm believing that He will.

anyway-- i'm feelin a bit sad that a nonbeliever agrees with my theology more than the Church does. he's putting us to shame!

this n that.

well...
quite a weekend it has been.

FULLNESS prayer and fasting weekend has just come to a close-- my stomach is finally satisfied, my mind is racing, and my heart is going deeper. i love Jesus.

my mom was here to preach.
she is not only a joy, a constant source of entertainment, love and empathy, she is also a FIREBALL. her preaching this weekend has been top notch. what an example. i want to imitate her in the same way that Paul told us to imitate him.

Tom Freeman was the worship leader.
he has, as we say in the Munn family-- a "land-o-lakes" voice. smoooooth like butter. and anointed (i don't use that word loosely).
and Rae Freeman. what a prophet (p.s. for some, strange feminist reason, i wince at the word prophetess.) her words are from the Almighty, no doubt.


i suppose anyone who has been a leader, a teacher, or a discipler (is that a word?) would resonate with what i'm about to share:
my War College students, my teen-cell girls, and my disciples bring me the greatest joys in life, as well as the greatest grief. when they succeed and follow the Lord, i rejoice so strongly with them, and my heart bursts with happiness. but when i see any hint of coldness to the Spirit, or any lack of wisdom, it causes me to mourn.

anyway, this weekend i experienced a bit of both.
hallelujah, it was RICH to see people being responsive to what the Lord was saying to them during FULLNESS. many responded to a call to holiness (i swear, i didn't pay her to preach on that!) my heart sang :o)

i'm leaving in a week and a bit to go on a little journey:
first i'm in London, Ontario where i'm preaching and dancing (two of my favorite things on earth!) at a youth councils.
then i'm chillin at 614 London for a few days and soaking up the Gillinghams.
then i'm in Toronto for a couple days to visit with friends.
then i'm going to New York to reunite with my family! it's the first time that the 4 of us will have been together since August. sweetness.
then we're all heading down to Hershey, Pennsylvania where the Territorial Kaleidoscope Congress is going to be held. i'm setting up the 24-7 prayer room there, and i'm rehearsing and performing with a group of dancers, so i'll be far from bored. i'm SO excited to dance again. :o)

pray for me if you think of it: especially in regards to the first leg of the trip-- the Lord is going to do some massive things at that Youth Councils in London, and i want to jump in and join Him in His work.

love it, hate it

my last post was brief and didn't say much about my life, but it is definitely the thing that is strongest on my heart these days. i struggle to convey my deep feelings on this in words, but the feelings are unmistakably there. i hope that it made some sense to you.

a friend said this to me yesterday:

"would u agree that worldliness has only just stopped being seen as a sin in the last chunk of decades? funny how it seems to coincide with the SA becoming less effective.."

i have yet to respond to him, because i feel absolutely convicted.

in class (Extreme Holiness) we often try to clarify terms before we discuss them. we try to define "sin," "human nature," "sinful nature," and "flesh," so that when someone uses the word we all know what they mean. one of the terms that we recently tried to define was "THE WORLD."

a few times in the Bible we are told to hate the world.
"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
(James 4:4)

it's obviously worth defining, because God loves the world, and we're told to go into all the world and preach the good news, and Jesus died to save the world...so what is it exactly that we are hating?

the world is not:
-the earth (as in creation)
-all people
neither of these things are to be hated. in fact, they should be loved! the Lord created them, He declares them good, and He loves them. i do too :o)

some define the world as narrowly as "sin."
but i think that perhaps it's broader than that. sure, we should hate sin, but i wonder if the world also includes things that are not wrong in themselves, but that are temporal and could lead to idolatry.

for example-- things. relationships. popularity.
they aren't necessarily inherently sinful, but they could lead to sin.

what my comrade said, i believe is true.

we don't treat a hunger for material things as vile idolatry.
we don't act as if craving for romance is going after our second love and ignoring our first.
we don't act as if friendship with the world is hatred toward God.

dang.

i don't HATE those things. sometimes i get a glimpse of reality, and i remember that they are only a shadow, but most of the time i enjoy those things of the world and no one calls me on it.
i'm sure i'm not the only one.

maybe when we consider worldliness a sin, the Lord will be able to use us.

c'mon y'all, let's just go for it. throw off everything hinders.

can we please just get rid of any garbage that would prevent us from going after Him?

why would we want anything else? anything that keeps us from Him is DEATH, because true, eternal life is nothing more than to KNOW Christ and His Father.

like little children, sometimes we think we want something, but the truth is, we want Him, and we want to be totally free to sprint after Him...forever.

stop accepting slavery.

pardon the detour

every two months, we take a gaggle of downtown eastside women on a car ride, a ferry ride, and another car ride until we reach the sunshine coast. even if you've never heard of the sunshine coast, doesn't it sound idyllic? well, it is-- it's perfection.

we take the whole band to a little slice of paradise called "linwood house."

this is the most exquisite home i have ever been in.
first of all-- it's massive.
second of all-- every little detail is amazing:

i took great delight in the doilies, the english country rose teacups, the pinstriped upholstery, the embossed wallpaper, the hardwood floors, the wraparound porch, the baby grand piano the paintings, the blue hydrangeas...absolutely stunning.

BLOG WHIPLASH COMING UP:

i wrote that 1 week ago, and never got around to finishing it. it now seems like lifetimes ago-- i'm far away from the sunshine coast, in every sense. to write any more about the experience would be looking into the distant past, and that is not something i'm inclined to do.
still, i enjoyed that handful of sentences i wrote, so i'm keeping them up.

onto the present.

we (and by we, i mean humanity, not just you and i) are always so stinkin busy.
i can't even tell you how many emails i have composed to long lost friends that began with, "sorry i haven't written you in a while, i've just been so busy!" \

614 Vancouver is, perhaps, particularly hustling. i know of individuals who, and i have experienced times when i, don't have time to buy groceries or do laundry because of working so tirelessly. ridiculous.
thus-- if one of us has a few hours off, all we want to do is rest.
i often hear, "i want to go visit people on the streets in my free time, i want to pray more, but i just can't fit it in!"

this chaos has a few different results:
--a chore mindset. a troupe of people who only do good for others when it is programed in for them to do so. visitation during League of Mercy, prayer during Air Force, preaching during Open Air, but never ministering out of the spontaneous overflow of the heart.
--lack of intimacy with the Lord. time with Him is rushed and scheduled down to the minute, full of requests and study but minimal amounts of listening and waiting.
--and at worst: burnout. total loss of passion and desire. quitting the field.

i think that many people these days look at business as a sign of importance. if you're not tiring yourself out with duty, then you must not be working hard enough for the Lord. i confess that sometimes i see my comrades running around like maniacs, and i feel that maybe i should be doing the same.

but the Lord keeps telling me "no"! in fact, He is telling me to cut back my schedule. this way, i'll have time off, and i'll have no excuse for not praying, for not taking one of our friends out for dinner, for neglecting a comrade who needs me to minister to them. i'll have the time to do what i WANT to do, and hopefully it will come more out of the abundance of my heart, and less out of prosperity of my schedule.

the Lord has also been teaching me about the importance of having a "secret place" with Him. going to my room, closing the door, and talking to Him with no one else around. this is also something that i can only do well if i haven't packed my day as much as is humanly possible. solitude is a basic lesson, but i'm relearning it, and it's transforming me. praise the Lord.

the blog file

i've been quite slack on the ole blog front these days-- whoops.
it's just because my life is so rich, so full, so abundant...i find it hard to place blogging at the top of my priorities list. not that i have a list.
but i do love lists. hat tip dad (*tick tick tick*)

i've been rereading "Helps to Holiness," by Samuel Logan Brengle. absolute classic-- i'm getting more out of it this time then ever before.

here's a few things in the book that i've been loving (again), and a few of my own thoughts:
(heh, a list.)

1.)

"watch your life and doctrine closely. persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
(1 Timothy 4:16)

personal holiness is absolutely vital-- for our own salvation, and that of those who hear the message through us.

p.s. on this one: who are your hearers?

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"
(Romans 10:14)

preach it to 'em. AND-- watch your life and doctrine closely. you cannot to take too much care of your own soul.

2.)

chapter 12-- Gideon's Band-- absolutely brilliant.

he interprets that the crazy water-lapping-elimination that God does is not random-- but it was the Lord weeding out the self-indulgent soldiers. they took their eyes off the enemy to stick their faces in the river and quench their thirst. but the soldiers that God wanted, the remnant of 300 who defeated the 32,000 Midianites, drank with their eyes alert, their hands on their weapons, even though they were just as thirsty as the others.

we don't want no self-indulgent soldiers. we'd do better without them. i'd rather have an Army of sacrificial, fearless, disciplined soldiers that is dwarfed in number by the enemy, then a large Army of gluttons and sloths.

3.)

Stephen Court promotes that carnal Christianity is the worst possible lifestyle. and i testify-- amen. if your a sinner, full-on, at least you can "enjoy" the sin, relish in it, soak up all you can from it. and if you're sanctified, you can experience the highest possible levels of joy because of shame-free, ecstatic intimacy with God.

but: if your a Christian, AND you continue in sin-- relationship with God is lacking because of shame and the knowledge in the back of your mind that you are disobeying the One you claim to love. not only is relationship with God lacking, but sin isn't even enjoyable, because you're constantly being convicted by the Holy Spirit. both the sin and the relationship are unsatisfying.

i recommend to either be hot or cold. oh-- and please be hot. :o)

4.)

a few times recently i've spoken with some friends, and this question has come up:

"what do you really want?"

sounds like a simple question-- but it searches deeply. what do you REALLY want?

what i want is to be intimate with Him. honestly, it's the one thing i desire. if i'm happy, sad, abused, mistreated, rich, poor, abandoned, popular-- whatever-- i just want to experience it in true relationship with Him.
i'm sure that's what you want too.
but it's easy to think that we want one thing or another-- marriage, friends, food, sleep, family, a job, and effectiveness in ministry. i'm not talking about sin here. i'm talking about good things-- but they really fade in light of knowing Christ. i count them as garbage, for the sake of knowing Him.

i hate the world.

what do you really want?

5.)

now that i've opened the proverbial "file" (hat tip dad AGAIN!), there's no going back! i could type forever! :o)

Doctrine #10, back in the day:

"We believe that after conversion there remains in the heart of the believer inclinations to evil, or roots of bitterness, which, unless overpowered by Divine Grace, produce actual sin; but that these evil tendancies can be entirely taken away by the Spirit of God, and the whole heart thus cleansed from everything contrary to the will of God or entirely sanctified will then produce the fruit of the Spirit only. and we believe that persons thus entirely sanctified may, by the power of God, be kept unreprovable before Him"

BOLD STATEMENT!

i agree with it.

aiight, that's a lot to read. sorry.

Crucified Man

I have placed all my hope in a crucified man
In the wounds in his side, his feet and his hands
I have traded my pride for a share in his shame
And the glory that one-day will burst from his pain

I’ve abandoned my trust in the wise and the proud
For this fragile, mysterious weakness of God
And I dare to believe in his scandalous claim
That his blood cleanses sin for who ever
Will call on his name
Live or die here I stand
I’ve placed my hope in a crucified man

I believe as they beat on his beautiful face
He turned a torturer’s chair to an altar of grace
Where the worst we can do met the best that God does
Where unspeakable hate met the gaze
Of unstoppable love
At the crux of it all there he hangs
I’ve placed my hope in a crucified….

Man of sorrows man of grief
Will he stay beyond belief?

When the purest and best took the force of our curse
Death’s victory armada juddered into reverse…
And either we bow or we stumble and fall
For the wisdom of a suffering God
Has made fools of us all
I gladly admit that I am
But I’ve placed my hope in a crucified …

Man of sorrows man of grief
Will he stay beyond belief?

I have buried my life in the cold earth with him
Like a seed in the winter, I wait for the spring
From that garden of tombs Eden rises again
And Paradise blooms from his body
And never will end
He’ll finish all he began
Creation hopes in a crucified man

When I stand at the judgement
I have no other plan
I’ve placed my hope in a crucified man

Like the thief nailed beside him
I have no other plan
I’ve placed my hope in a crucified man

Graham Kendrick

you can have all this world,
but give me Jesus.

"what are those sores all over their faces?"

the last Wednesday of the month and the days following are always such a dark season.

welfare Wednesday.

i was amazed again, at how different the streets are during that time.
all the dealers come out (they're always out, but more so this week), and everybody is tweaking out. it's intense.

perfect timing to bring 45 teens from small town northern BC to come and visit.

i was giving a group of them a tour right down skid row-- showing them the sights, trying to answer a sweet, chatty 13 year old boy who kept asking questions like, "what are those clear pipes everyone is sucking on?" or "why is that lady dancing?" or "why doesn't anyone have teeth?"
i don't want to answer those things! i know it's meant to be educational, but man!-- he learned a lot yesterday.

when you see young, clean, healthy-looking people walking down the street in massive packs, you know they're Christians. no doubt. this is a fairly regular occurrence, and it gets a lot of reaction.
"what, are you going to try and save me?! your God isn't real so f--- off!"
"oh look at the cute Christians kids! welcome to the real world."
"do you like my neighborhood? this is where you end up if you're really screwed up."

something in me (my Camden, New Jersey inbred longing for street credibility) wanted to separate myself and say, "oh, i live down here, i'm just giving them a tour..." but i know that they couldn't tell me apart from the others.

one man in rock alley told us off. he saw a crowd approaching and figured it was a perfect opportunity to start giving a speech. despite his street appearance, he had very refined English. most of what he said made no sense to me, but some of it sunk in deeply:
"mothers and fathers, why are you bringing your children down here against their own will? to show them the freak show? it's patronizing and wrong."

my neighbors, many of whom are my friends, feel like they are in a zoo, and that all the "normal people" are coming down to gawk at how messed up they are.
that's their experience with Christianity. either they get stared at, or preached at. very enticing, i'm sure.

sigh.

conversational whiplash:

i have inherited, from my mother, a double portion of Thrift Store anointing. i claimed that generational blessing years ago, and i'm seeing the fruit of it. :o)

i was walking past Value Village yesterday morning, and the Lord told me that if i would go in there, He was going to provide me with a red jacket.
so i went in, and came out a few minutes later with a sweet, blood red jacket, for $7.99 CDN. nice.

figured i'd end on that happy note of retail therapy, rather than leave you to think about the damage that short term mission trips do to a neighborhood, and to the missionaries who are fighting for it. more comfortable.

Ready And Willing Whatever.

cahrazey week at RAW-- "Ready And Willing" youth THING.

definitely not a conference (the Lord hates those, Amos 5:21-24).
also definitely not a retreat (did our Captain sound the call to retreat? are we being pushed back by the enemy? i think not! no retreating, hell defeating)

so i'm not quite sure what to call RAW...an advance? an experience? training? Ready And Willing anti-conference?

whatever we call it, it was an important time:

these teens didn't gather together to spiritually please themselves, and leave feeling like an emotional mess. rather, they gave up their spring break, and came to the Downtown Eastside to serve the poor, and "dance upon injustice" (i'm still pretty sure that phrase is not in the Bible, but it's a catchy one anyway).

i praught (the teacher taught, the preacher praught-- ht, sargent xc) on Monday night-- probably the shortest, most disjointed sermon of all times. very silly.

but i console myself with this:
when Billy Graham was nearing the end of his first sermon, he felt like it wasn't long enough, so he started a second sermon. when that one was done, and he still didn't feel like it was long enough, so he started a third sermon. then he looked at the clock, and 5 minutes had passed. (ht, soldier spb)

that's pretty encouraging, eh?
mine was 11.5 minutes (who's counting?--ht, captain sec), and that was only one sermon, so guess i'm doing aiight.

the main point of this blog is this: i'm a better preacher than Billy Graham ;o)
kidding.


in other news, my emotions are as fragile as a porcelain doll.
i reckon that this has something to do with the fact that i chilled on the floor for 3 nights, surrounded by 15 year old girls, rarely sleeping. this resulted in physical fatigue (and sore muscles), emotional fatigue (i love those girls so much it hurts), BUT--
no spiritual fatigue. nuh-uh. when we serve the Lord, it energizes us (ht, major db). pouring all my love, energy and time into 11 teenage girls doesn't make me feel depleted-- it builds me up. i feel pumped!

i think i cried half a dozen times on Wednesday. everything just seems like such a big deal when you're tired.

i remember, as a child, feeling deep sorrow over the injustices in my life (i.e. my mom making me brush my teeth, my dad making me turn off the tv and go play outside)-- they were SUCH big deals to me. i felt like the world was against me, and it caused me great angst.
i also recall my mother looking at me patronizingly, and saying, "you're just tired sweetie."
it was horrible to feel like my own mother could summarize all of my massive problems so succinctly. so debasing-- belittling all of my titanic predicaments.

but this is precisely what's going on in me, even 12 years later:
i feel like every little problem is a huge deal...but i'm probably just tired.
perhaps you shouldn't remind me of that. i could easily burst into tears.

teenagers. oh my dear.

discernment needed.

yesterday, in the War Room, as one prayer warrior looked down on the intersection of Main and Hastings, she commented:

"sometimes i can't tell if someone is high, or if they're a Salvationist."

hah-- hilarious. she went on to clarify, that when she sees someone on a street corner yelling, and dancing, she doesn't know if they're tweaking out, or praising the Lord.

our neighborhood is not normal. good thing we aren't either.

very interesting class discussion this morning, all about holiness.
many differing viewpoints.

i know what i believe, but i am curious:

how man of you believe you are holy?
by that, i mean holy. :o) not saved in your sin, but from your sin.

how many of you believe that you live in total victory, that your sinful nature is crucified, that you're a slave of righteousness, that you've been filled with divine love?

i don't want to get into another holiness discussion right now (my brain hurts...i'm game for it at another time!), but i would love it if you would comment a sentence or two (no preaching, please) and tell me if you testify to holiness or not.
do you sin?

number 2 today

p.s.

today is International Women's Day.

bless some women in your life!

perhaps you could:

--advocate for the sexually trafficked: stopthetraffik.org

--respect female officers in your life by calling them by their rank (unless they're first-name people), not by Mrs.

--allow women to be free to operate in their gifts in the Church, rather than squeezing them all into one mold of "women's ministries," centerpiece-making, and hospitality. (that sentence is in no way meant to degrade women, or men, who are gifted in this way, it is only to say that some women are not created to do that, and thus should be free to do what it is they are created to do.)

--ask her questions and then LISTEN to whatever she says. don't cut her off and place your own opinion above hers, but give her the floor to express herself. humble yourself before her.

--acknowledge that women are one of the most oppressed people groups in the history of the world. don't make derogatory jokes about women, just as you wouldn't joke about the Jews, or Africans, or homosexuals.

--recognize them as the pinnacle of creation: the Lord started with something as simple as light, worked up to the land, then created plants, then moved onto animals, then: man...and then the grand finale, the masterpiece: woman!
(hah: this one is sort of a joke. i don't actually think that women are superior to men, as men are superior to animals)

wait:
forget International Women's Day-- make this a lifestyle.

poor horsie

so--
we're not going to see revival until we're holy.
we're not going to be intimate with the Lord until we're holy.
we're not going to see the end of injustice and suffering until we're holy.

i'm sure that i've beat that dead horse into the ground.

but it is undeniably important. the most important thing on this earth.

once the Church is holy, these things will happen:

1. we will be able to ascend the hill of the Lord (see Psalm 15). we will be able to stand in His presence, and we will know Him deeply.

2. we will thus be filled with such a divine love that we will be spurred into doing good-- we will fight for the vulnerable, we will remember the needy.

3. we will begin to see people cross from death to life, by the power of God Almighty. He will trust us enough to lavish His power on us, and we will see healings, wonders, mass repentance, and prophecies.

holiness is the solution to every problem.
it's the most important thing in the world.
this message is so urgent, i don't know how to move on from it.

your holiness doesn't only affect you, it affects everyone.
it's not a choice.

"Without holiness, no one will see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)

unless we are holy, no one will see the Lord. unless we surrender our selfishness, our pride, our future, and allow Him to take all of us-- the world will be lost. they won't see Him until we are holy.

please. seek the Lord, and beg Him to sanctify you.

what's the verdict?

i meant it

does anyone recall my top two motivations for holiness?

(heh, i talk like i'm Rick Warren or Bill Wilson or some other famous author whose brilliant ideas one etches on their mind permanently)

well-- i can't stop thinking about them!

for a while now i've been wrestling with the Lord through my thoughts on evangelism.

first there was:

"why doesn't God reveal Himself to the whole world so that they fall in love with Him and turn from their sins? if He really wants 'no one perish, but everyone to come to repentance,' then why doesn't He show them some miracle so that they will choose Him? maybe He doesn't want everyone to be saved..."

that was a harsh season.

then my thoughts turned more like:

"He just needs faithful servants. we're a bunch of lazy soldiers-- He wants to save everyone, but He needs us to cooperate with Him in His work. people aren't getting saved, not because of His willingness, but because of our unwillingness. He wants the whole world saved, but if we wanted it to happen, then we'd do something about it, and it would happen."

this was, perhaps, a more accurate train of thought.

so i prayed that God would make me a faithful worker in His harvest field. and i repented of my slothful, selfish ways.

(i'm summarizing this all very tidily, but mind you, this whole thought process took about 2 years)


a few nights ago i had a good chat with Rob, in which i was totally venting all my frustrations with evangelism. i was sharing about how Open Air didn't seem to be working, how i spend hours "building relationships," and see very little transformation. i was questioning why we don't see mass repentance at the Open Air meeting like we used to. is it because we don't actually have the Holy Spirit? we're out there, being faithful workers, and He's a faithful God who desires salvation for all, so why isn't it happening?

and this is what he taught me:

what would happen if mass revival happened in my corps?
if one day, while preaching on a street corner, one hundred people (or even 10 for that matter) repented of their sin, put their faith in the blood of Jesus, and began to follow Him, would it be a good thing?
(well of course it would be...but work with me here)
would we be ready for it?
is our family, our community, ready to take anyone else in?

i wonder.

sometimes i think that we couldn't handle massive amounts of converts. we wouldn't know how to disciple them, we'd probably hurt them, we wouldn't know how to use them in their giftings...we wouldn't know what to do with them all.

so perhaps before we see these lonely people put into our family, we need to become a family worth bringing people into. we need to be purged of all uncleanness, gossip, laziness, lust, lack of compassion, etc, before the Lord will be able to trust us with His beloved people.

holiness. solution to every problem.

Lord-- sift us. get rid of the chaff inside of us, so only wheat remains. boil us until all the junk rises up-- then, please get rid of it. discipline us so that we'll be ready for an outpouring.

from praying the Bible this morning:

"Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
(Psalm 139:23-24)

que pasa?

okay...phew...wow...

i just had one of those "moments." you know, one of those encounters with the almighty God that makes you feel that you aren't even worthy to lay face-first in the dirt because He created that. one of those moments when you are weeping so hard that you don't know what to say-- and to even try to wrap your mind around what is going on in your spirit is in vain anyway. one of those moments that will become a landmark in your journey toward paradise. one of those moments that are seemingly impossible to describe to anyone who doesn't know Jesus, and hasn't experienced this combination of Love and holy terror.

actually-- i've had two of these moments in just over 24 hours. what is going on!?

i really have no idea what just happened.

there's this legend-- and his name is Rob Dolby. he and Heather (his bride-- also a legend) are leading the troops in war in Charlotte, North Carolina. they, and their soldiers, are here in Vancouver to visit for a few days.
Rob and Heather are possibly the most popular people in the Downtown East side-- within 614 and without. like i said-- legend. they have mucho (Spanish, you know) authority in the spiritual realm, and massive influence.

after my shift at the shelter tonight, Rob and i went out to do some late-night street combat. street combat is two-by-two, on the streets, intentional evangelism. we walk around and try to get people saved. good times.
one guy told us to "f--- the Salvation Army," (break that off in Jesus' name!), one guy played us a blues song on the guitar (so much soul-- cigarette in the strings and everything), we gave a lady a chocolate bar, we prophesied over a few people, we said hello and offered prayer to many who said "no," and one lady prayed the sinners prayer with us after being seriously broken and confessing some deep hurts that lead to her drug use.
it was important, i believe, but pretty chill on the whole. no mass repentance, no signs and wonders, just lots of love and connections.

when we were done, Rob prayed for me, and imparted to me any spiritual authority he has on these streets in greater measure then what he experienced. he prayed for an outpouring of love in me that would overflow. he encouraged me to press on in the fight, and to remain on the streets.

yet again-- chill. he prayed, i received it, but it didn't seem like a pivotal moment.

we said goodnight, i opened the door to my apartment, and my knees suddenly turned into patellas of metal, and the floor one giant magnet. i didn't really stop to think about kneeling down, i just locked the door behind me and then realized a few seconds later that i was on the floor. a bit awkward, since i didn't even make it up the stairs yet.

and i burst into tears.

this is all connected to all the things i have been blogging about recently-- His grace, my weakness, and desire for holiness.

i want SO badly for the Lord to use me on these streets to minister to His loved friends. i want Him to use me like He has used Rob-- and more, of course. i want to see people saved. deeply.
and it has nothing to do with my own name anymore-- as i knelt with my head to our embarrassingly grimy steps, i felt lower and more pathetic than the dirt wedged up in the corners. i remembered all over again all of the temptations and waverings (totally not a word) that i've been going through these days. i remembered my complete frailty. i remembered how frequently i fail, when i try so hard to be good.
but i felt more motivated than ever to be holy.
because of motivation #2 from my last blog-- effectiveness. i long to see people saved. i love them. by "them," i mean people. i love the world. and i long for their salvation more than anything in this world.
the only thing i long for more is to know the Lord. yet another good reason to be holy. but though i keep on trying, i can't do it on my own.

in this place of utter brokenness, love, desire, humility, dependency, and zeal-- the Lord moved me again to look to His grace.

so...as i prefaced this post by saying-- i'm really not sure what just happened. but it was intense. as i knelt there with my face to the floor, the tears conveniently attracting every speck of dirt, i tried to analyze what on earth i was crying about. and i'm still not entirely sure. but it was good. the Lord was doing something, and i really feel at a bit of a loss as to what. whatever it was, it was deep.

as i sad-- two "moments," recently. i won't describe the first one in depth, i'll just say this: Tara, Heather, and myself in the War Room; Marty Mikles, Running in Circles, track #9 on repeat; complacency to connectedness, to trickling tears, and finally to open wailing.
yet again-- can't analyze it, but it was deep.

Lord-- what are You doing? please-- keep doing it. do what You want.

i'm convinced.

Top two motivations for holiness:

2.) effectiveness in ministry. when i see the need around me, when i see Christians who need to be discipled, when i see how much work needs to be done, i am motivated to obey the Lord. i can't preach a sermon while i am feeling shameful for how i've been living. i can't minister to a woman on the streets when i'm stuck in sin. that would be hypocrisy-- which is possibly the most hated quality ever.
but i want to be used by the Lord, and i want to see His kingdom come-- so i want to be blameless and pure.

1.) intimacy with the Lord. the conviction and unrest that comes from living in sin makes it unbearable to connect with the Lord. as Michael Collins says, "obedience equals intimacy." when i am obeying Him, it is showing that i love Him, and then i am close to Him in a way that i could never be if i was being disobedient.

my friend, Shaw Coleman, commented on my last post something profound that supports this #1 reason for being clean:

I was musing on this today, and it made me wonder if I'm going about things the wrong way. As in, am I using my relationship with Jesus to make myself 'clean,' just so I can be clean, or am I wanting to become clean so I can have a relationship with God?

One had righteousness as an end in itself, the other has relationship as an end in itself.

I'm guessing what we should strive for is relationship with God, and 'cleanliness' will come as an expression of that.

very interesting.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Philippians 3:8-11

to know Christ is the number one reason to be holy.

ON THE FLIP SIDE
(there always seems to be a flip side...)
this doesn't contradict, it's merely a tension:

i have not made my way into the throne room by doing what is right.
i am only allowed to enter His presence with confidence because of the death of Christ. no other reason.

so i recognize that the real way to know Him and be intimate with Him is by way of the blood of Jesus. i can't make my own way.

but the tension still stands--
when i lived in sin, i couldn't bring myself to meet with Him. He is too perfect, and i felt ashamed, and uneasy because i knew what He wanted me to stop doing. i couldn't meet with Him confidently, because i was convicted.

interesting.

i'm motivated to be holy. those two reason are the reasons i exist-- they motivate me like nothing else.

sufficient.

His grace seems to be consuming my thoughts these days.

this morning in the War Room i spent some time boasting in my weakness.
i lay on the floor (which was shockingly dirty from that angle) and meditated on my own weakness juxtaposed with His perfection.
this lead to me sharing with Him my deep brokenness.
then it lead me to worship as i reflected on the price He paid to bring me, fragile little me with all my issues, to Himself.
then it led me to a place of trusting-- He covers me. i no longer felt shame for who i am, but i felt safe in Him, my Refuge. and i feel confident that He is healing me and sanctifying me and strengthening me. i trust Him to do this.

"i have not much to offer You
not near what You deserve
but still i come
because Your cross
has placed in me my worth.

Jesus- my King of sympathy
Whose wounds secured my peace
Your grace extends
to call me 'friend,'
Your mercy sets me free

i know i'm weak
i know i'm unworthy
to call upon Your name.
because of Your grace
because of Your mercy
i stand here unashamed.

i can't explain this kind of love
i'm humbled and amazed
that You came down
from Heaven's heights
to greet me face to Face.

Here i am
at Your feet
in my brokenness, complete."

--Starfield.

even my holiness seems so dirty when i look at Him.
but i trust Him.
right now i'm laying, in a johnny, on a metal table with paper on it, waiting for Him to come and do some surgery.
i'm not going to try and fix myself by doing surgery with a blunt stick.
i'm going to allow Him to cut me cleanly with His sharp Words that slice like a razor. i know He works well.


is it possible, in some twisted way, that the Lord could will someone to sin, because He wants to teach them about humility, and dependence on Him?
i know that He can use even the worst of situations, but do you ever wonder if He planned it to happen?

grant it, Lord

apparently
Olivia
comes from the Scandinavian name
Olga
which means
Holy

what does your name mean?

balance is bull. both is best.

today i caught myself praying,
"Lord, show us a balance between discipline and grace."

but i had to stop myself and take it back. this is what i'm thinking:
grace and discipline are both divine things, good gifts that the Lord gives us.

i don't want one to balance out the other.
i want to live in fullness of both.

i'm thinking that one does not take away from the other, but that it is possible to live in grace and forgiveness 100% of the time, but to also be 100% disciplined and self-controlled.

so if i'm disciplining myself hardcore, sacrificing all kinds of worldly pleasures, and resisting sin to the point of shedding blood, there might not necessarily be a need for someone to remind me, "grace." the fact that i'm so self-controlled does not mean that i am ungracious. perhaps the one reminding me is more accurately bringing to my mind, "laziness."

at the other end of the spectrum, if i am eternally forgiving, and never get under condemnation for mistakes, it doesn't necessarily mean that i need people to constantly remind me, "discipline." maybe all that i hear when they say that is, "legalism."

personally-- i tend toward discipline, but i struggle with grace.
the Lord is teaching me heaps about receiving His forgiveness, and not depending on my own goodness, but only on His.

still--
in this journey of learning about grace, i don't want to sacrifice an ounce of discipline. it is not going to be one or the other.

i am grateful that He is constantly reminding me of His compassion and His unfailing love. but i will not go back on my duties.

if you find that you struggle with legalism-- the answer is not removing disciplines from your life-- the answer is revelation of His grace.
if you find that you struggle with laziness-- the answer is not bogging yourself down with a burden of trying to save your own soul-- the answer is self-control.

does this all make sense to you?

this is all coming out of a place of brokenness in my own life. i am pressing in to greater self-discipline-- and concurrently the Lord is teaching me to receive His forgiveness. it's a surefire combination.

A PRAYER FOR A POOR NEIGHBORHOOD

God of Creation, redemption, and reconciliation.

You call us to live together in peace.

Your Word speaks of reconciliation.

Your Spirit brings justice.

Look upon us and judge what we have done with our stewardship.


Witness the burned houses,

meth labs,

crack houses,

drug dealers,

slumlords,

and prostitutes.

See the emptiness and false promises,

the alienation and despair,

injustice and oppressions,

that bring these tragedies among us.

Hear the gunfire that breaks the peace!


How many lives are swallowed up in these tragedies!

How much pain and how much sorrow do they cause!

Heal this place, God of mercy and forgiveness.

Send your love and grace upon all

prostitutes,

drug dealers,

slumlords,

loan sharks,

bankers,

lawyers,

politicians.


Bring them to conversion of heart and life.

Cause those who are responsible to cease from their oppressions,

stop their crimes, and to keep the peace in our neighborhoods.

Fill the emptiness that is the source of these sorrows,

with love, peace, mercy, and justice.


Give us courage, so that we may show them of your love,

Teach us to respect all people as human beings,

not forgetting all

prostitutes,

drug dealers,

slumlords,

loan sharks,

bankers,

lawyers, and

politicians.


These blessings we ask,

in the name of the One who became poverty,

who will judge the deeds of all humanity,

on that great day when justice reigns

in every neighborhood,

on every street,

and among all nations.

Amen.


PRAYER FOR THE POOR

Who is Jesus to me?


Jesus is the Word - made Flesh.

Jesus is the Bread - of Life.

Jesus is the Victim - offered for our sins on the Cross.

Jesus is the Sacrifice for the sins of the world - and mine.

Jesus is the Word - to be spoken.

Jesus is the Truth - to be told.

Jesus is the Way - to be walked.

Jesus is the Light - to be lit.

Jesus is the Life - to be loved.

Jesus is the Joy - to be shared.

Jesus is the Sacrifice - to be given.

Jesus is the Bread of Life - to be eaten.

Jesus is the Hungry - to be fed.

Jesus is the Thirsty - to be satiated.

Jesus is the Naked - to be clothed.

Jesus is the Homeless - to be taken in.

Jesus is the Sick - to be healed.

Jesus is the Lonely - to be loved.

Jesus is the Unwanted - to be wanted.

Jesus is the Leper - to wash his wounds.

Jesus is the Beggar - to give him a smile.

Jesus is the Drunkard - to listen to him.

Jesus is the Little One - to embrace him.

Jesus is the Dumb - to speak to him.

Jesus is the Crippled - to walk with him.

Jesus is the Drug Addict - to befriend him.

Jesus is the Prostitute - to remove from danger and befriend her.

Jesus is the Prisoner - to be visited.

Jesus is the Old - to be served.

To me Jesus is my God,

Jesus is my Spouse,

Jesus is my Life,

Jesus is my only Love,

Jesus is my All in All,

Jesus is my Everything.


Amen.


(By Mother Teresa of Calcutta.)